My favorite moon tonight

A BUCKET OF PICKLES

This made me lol

4) me on a random Tuesday in June

There’s a bucket of choc chip cookies. A bucket of pickles. A new French dip.

Gonna poop all over the field

Very sad start to spring!

Unfortunately my body doesn’t know the difference between being held at gun point or when the Mets have a guy on 3rd with zero outs

Thank god the Mets don’t play baseball tomorrow

I will absolutrly criticize people for attending. It’s a grotesque spectacle nobody who cares about press freedom should dignify with their presence.

i lived through the 1993 mets, this team can’t hurt me

Love Tana French

I’m heading to the bookstore and going to purchase some new reading material to engage my time instead of watching baseball this week 🫠

I think that means I should keep it off

I turned it off I can’t do this to myself every day 😭

Most of my playlists are grocerycore these days

It was Lil Wayne, but "Unwritten" would absolutely hit

That’s a good looking sandwich

I’m not an Etsy witch but maybe I need to do a spell to get the Mets back on track.

darth throws out a first pitch when?

So if Mets lose their 11th tomorrow and they fire Mendy who is gonna be the new manager by Tuesday

What if the Mets went back to cocaine and womanizing

youd think at some point the mets would win one by accident

This weekend is the birthday of a guy I dated who once called me to come over & when I got there he was like I have an in-home massage scheduled but you can have it since I heard you say earlier today that your back hurts. We aren’t in touch but every year I’m like I hope that dude has a great bday

Mets really may never win again

Sorry I can’t gotta work on my creative writing projects on my balcony and watch the mean-assed goose that haunts my complex chase people

Yeah I don’t really have a dog in the fight but people are being so annoying about a topic with several moving parts. And for the record I said years ago hosting it here was a TERRIBLE idea. Love to be proven right.

I know it’s an unpopular opinion but idc I pay at least $50 to get to one Mets game in Queens from NJ plus tickets and food. So I really don’t have any sympathy for the NYers crying about the NJ congestion tax for the World Cup. People suddenly caping for FIFA is weird man!

Being a dog owner as an adult means asking your neighbor “hey did Gary move?” But Gary is the corgi that lived down the hall and you just don’t remember the owners’ names