The eBook of Castle is only 99p right now.

Repost this for a chance to win a signed copy of the original hardback edition.

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HAROLD: A big day for world peace! Normandy wants it to happen, they've had enough!

If I'm going to commemorate anyone it would be all the people who didn't want to be crucified by the Romans rather than the one who volunteered for it.

I won't be getting any work done. There's just too much 1 April hilarity to cope with. This should be a national holiday.

Save time by sacking him before he's appointed would be my advice.

Amazon are partnering with Comic Relief to sell their red noses. Last year Comic Relief raised £34 million which is how much Jeff Bezos makes in six hours. Dig deep everyone.

Passed it around nicely and fell over a lot in the area

"It's a long way to Swansea when you're ****"

It had me stuck on the A55 for an hour...but worth the wait

When you're busy doing the washing up and get asked for your opinions on the Six Nations

Walking past a closed down Brewdog is a pleasant reminder that evil doesn't always triumph

The madman theory isn't a bluff when the 'madman' is...actually mad.

Listening to endless announcements in the "quiet carriage"

I was starting to miss inflation

e.g. 'we will support the protestors but not in any tangible way'

I think the US has wanted and needed a bad guy in Iran for a long time so anyone who wants to 'get tough' can have their moment. They don't actually want the fallout of regime change.

My dishwasher has the comedy timing of Ronnie Barker

Stop getting relegated. That's all I need to say!

So you can now be sent off for denying the opportunity to score a goal that was scored. Well done to the footballing authorities.

Probably easier to extract dinosaur DNA from a mosquito trapped in amber, set up a state of the art park on a tropical island etc the traditional way.

Just pleased I don't have to teach checks and balances in the US constitution these days

I'm a man who gets told to f*** off quite a lot. Today was the first time it happened while I was wearing a Santa hat.

The festive season only starts when you've been let down by Ocado.

A photo of the magazines serial killers and history of Nazi Germany

The Prevent section of WHSmith

Never about the kids is it, Telegraph. Just the numbers.

Probably the BBC's last great learning resource and every programme is a remarkable achievement. He's sadly not alone in voicing this unsubstantiated view of History in schools.

"You know you can order from your table now with the QR code" "Yes, I do but it is never going to happen"

As someone with knowledge and experience of setting #gcse grade boundaries is it safe to turn on the radio again?

"Well done, you've got me driving."

A discontent