am pathetic

literally failing all of my classes except the one i just did an assignment for yesterday

👍

success?

atempting tonhold onto consciousness
uncertain of reasoning but
eyes automatically closing and legs is freeze up

is
too vague
too unclear
brain
too
blurryktjff

ah
theres the lack of emotion i get every night for a reason that as far as i can tell is unexplainable

gljfbdnsk
future filled with studio apartment and mcdonald's job for rest of my life is the only realistic future for me

am failure
i know the consequences and everyrhing
and yet
in school
i do nothing but play games

sometimes i feel like im been faking my emotions and stuff this whole time and in reality im emotionless

kfhfnd
braind saywe need eep but i nit want to eep rn i just wannaddndj

and is ok

then again
reminded of smth teto said a while back

abt how
i would know if i was faking
i would not be
uncertain

thank

kgmckc
just rembered
before system realization
i
for some reason
somewhat wanted
to be a system
this may decrease the credibility of my systemness

i do have several of the things listed here

is not your fault

all of this
combined with the few things i know about dissociation
it does fit
quite well
dissociation may include immobility as well
which does somewhat fit with my freeze-ups (though they feel rather fake)

🫂🫂🫂🫂

that is
correct

apologies if i am that something that exploded

that is correct
however
i still do not feel
positive
i feel
emptiness

this is
not entirely unlikely
especially seeing as
i already am
a system

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
i hope that does not happen

more than others

nobody is normal

however
people can still stand out

a mind without a soul
a blank slate

nothing more than a vessel meant for someone to inhabit
but nobody came

was i
ever a regular human being
was i
always like this

am glad you here

uncertain

helo teto
upon several more odd bursts of freezing up and having issues detecting emotions, along with thinking about a previous random google search
my current theory of what is occurring when this happens is
dissociation
however
brain does not entirely enjoy this answer