actual footage of me having a late night snack

finally fixing my invalid handle issue after idk how long lmfao

made my beautiful wife a felt phone over the last few nights 💗
@softsoftserve.fun

so glad our cats have proper names
Apollo 13
Winston Cigarettes Cup Championship
Artemis “Farty Mist” crazy bones

tonight for dinner we have a roast Winston Cup Championship on a paper plate

tummy hurted eated too many sweets :((

sorry but im not gonna help you when you’re literally raging on another rep on the phone

what do you want me to do? pull a fold3 out of my ass?

not this dumb bitch leaving a bad review today because she couldn’t understand how insurance fucking works 😭

not our very conservative neighbor pulling up blaring lady Gaga on his motorcycle

my beeaUTIFULLL WIFEEEE

some bunny once told me im a engine removing homie or whatever smash mouth says

Mine is scattered across multiple cloud platforms and devicesc despite me having a completely capable solid state server level machine I COULD backup everything to (but that’s so much work)

just broke my 3rd piece of glass in the past 2 weeks what the FUCK

I’m pretty sure this is the first 2x27” and 1x 5” triple monitor setup (adapter cost me twice as much as the tv cost us😭)

angry that I paid like $99 for this last year and now it’s literally $450-550 anywhere you look like tf

does this guy think he owns the place or what

eatin gyoza with the soy sauce in measuring cups at this fancy place called 私のキッチン

my beautiful pony 🥺💗

had my drivers license for 11 years now and it’s only been suspended for like 4.5% of that time not baddddddd

smoked that shit that puts you in a Nintendo dsi

Beefingwithmychickwhileiminjail

I kinda cooked here

KINDA?!? YOU FUCKING WHIPPED IT UP LIKE A HIBACHI CHEF BABYYYYY

coming from the hottie who took this picture

gay woman celebrating post coital cereal and cozy bed with her wife

still this btw

a girl with blonde hair behind bars making a funny face ALT: a girl with blonde hair behind bars making a funny face

the inconsistency of my paycheck and it being deposited borderline drives me insane bc wdym sometimes it’s deposited at 8:30pm and now it’s been like 11pm and later before it even deposits

When I die I want to be floated down a river of Wingstop ranch

wife killed it on my nails as she always does 🥺

seriously forever thankful for @softsoftserve.fun