"Happy Asexual Awareness Week!
In celebration, I have slipped potions into everyone's food at the tavern that makes them see everyone as horrendous for the week- So that way nobody can experience sexual attraction!
You're welcome, asexuals!"
♡ ٩(´▽`)۶ ♡
"Perhaps to you, but... you can't deny, my existence has made things more interesting than it was prior, no~?"
Here she was, at a measly 145cm, acting like she owned the world as she leaned over to better peer at him, a cat like grin tugging at her lips.
"Damn...
Still a skill issue."
( ･ω･)ﾉ
"Fucking skill issue."
(○´3｀)ﾉ
"It's International Wife Appreciation Day!
Go tell your wife you appreciate them before you become another divorce statistic!"
(✧∀✧)/
"But is it reeeeaaally that inconvenient when shops that sell food are everywhere? And take out is a thing? And delivery services?"
She tilts her head, along with her upper torso to the side, gazing up at him with that cheeky grin of hers.
"I think you're just lazy~"
(๑•̀ᗢ•́๑)
And there she is, the rancid little creature standing right behind him.
"Oh, you are suuuuch a baby," she scoffs, shaking her head.
"Do you only get food at vending machines?"
(⁻꒫⁻)
"It's Interastral Cleanup Day! So naturally... I replaced all snacks in vending machines with douches. You're welcome, world!"
q(≧▽≦q)
"Of course, silly cowboy gooner~!"
٩( ๑╹ ꇴ╹)۶
"I knew playing Good Lookin' would summon the cowboy... I did not expect the booty shorts, though."
⁽⁽꜀(:3꜂ ꜆)꜄⁾⁾
⠀
⠀ ⠀⠀ ⋅. ⊹⠀ Walks in while wearing the shortest of booty shorts.
⠀
Texting @loadedgun.bsky.social
"Come to Penacony if you can, I'm playing that one country song that makes everyone think of you through the loudspeakers. (✪‿✪)ノ"
"In celebration of Interastral Country Music Day, I've compromised Penacony's speakers and now every single one is playing Good Lookin' By Dixon Dallas! Hopefully, people love hearing about bouncing off of booty cheeks!"
(*бωб)
"... I need to do something devious."
( ・ิω・)ノิิิ
Sending @loadedgun.bsky.social Goatse.
"Enjoy!!" ٩( ๑╹ ꇴ╹)۶
"Sorry. If that was too much and you think things like that shouldn't exist, you should sign the petition at lemonparty(.)org! (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)"
Texts @loadedgun.bsky.social 2 Girls 1 Cup.
"Enjoy."
(✿◡‿◡)
To end the battle of the sexes once more, I have went to every clothing store I could find and put strap-ons on every female mannequin, and fake breasts on every male mannequin.
( *︾▽︾)ヾ
You're welcome, worlds!
To unify women and men during shark week, I use those fake women penis piss things but adjust it so it covers my entire coochie, I let the pussy blood build up, pull a lever and I "piss" out my period blood at mach10.
( •̀ ω •́ )✧
(*´ ワ `*) ㏊㏊㏊~
You fool...
She has 70 alternative accounts!
"I'm canceling you on tweeter dot com!"
₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄ᗣ‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎
"Am I still banned?"
(ʃƪᵕωᵕ)
I told him!
૮ ◜ᵕ◝ ྀིა
He says go get vaccinated before he gets back.
(≍⩊≍)
(-⩊-)
(≍⩊≍)
... I'm telling Sunday.
"..."
（ノд｀＠）
"Cruel man, so so cruel, not letting me spread tetanus awareness like this~"
＼(º □ º l|l)/
"I did not take into account cyborgs..."
"What? Isn't it important to encourage people to get vaccinated?"
（*＾-＾*）
"It's immunization awareness month... in celebration... I've scattered rusty razors in various places to remind people to get vaccinated for tetanus. You're welcome!"
(｡⌒𖧉⌒)⋆.˚⊹⁺
∘✧₊⁺OOC⁺₊✧∘
I forgot how funny I was on here fr
(⩌⩊⩌)
Hey ladies, you know how menstrual products are WAAAAY too expensive?
You know how cereal boxes have toys in them sometimes?
I replaced all toys in cereal boxes with feminine hygiene products, unopened of course~
Happy Women's Month! (b˙◁˙ )b