checking my breedability quotient

screams infernally

im scraming internally

First world queers, notice who your fucking enemies are.

this video is gonna make me throw up

i could listen to char talk about the simpsons for hours omg

Comic based off a tumblr text post about a guardian angel. The angel's dialogue is as follows: "it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it!"

Continuation of the comic, the angel says: "🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people," with an art style change from cartoonish to devious anime girl when she claims to be killing people.

I love this text post so I drew it

Diana finds a cartridge #Pragmata

TRIP REPORT
wearing the mask from The Mask

00:00 Putting on the mask
00:01 Already hitting. Playing honky tonk piano with 5 arms.
00:12 Bouncing around like flubber
[…]
03:50 Omg finally saw a mirror. Why is my head so big. Kids are yelling "John Fetterman"
03:51 it won't come off it won't come OFF

I don't often get mushy on here, but I want you to know I think of you all as friends. And I think of one of you as my wife. And I think of five to seven of you at any one time as my mistress. And I think of myself as Heihachi Mishima from the Tekken series of fighting games. The King of Iron Fist.

gork turn him into a jellyfish

omg this is so evil and hot i love it im cackling

when lady rpg first dropped a lot of mean trans women on twitter who presumably hadn't played it called it "goon slop." I would like to officially salute anyone who managed to get off on llrpg, a game mostly concerned with having to pay rent

accidentally boofed some projesterone and now my ass is performing amusing bufoonery for the royal court

fucking my rock elemental gf and begging her to wear protection this time because my dripping wet pussy keeps eroding her dick

its not even dirty!!! just cluttered as hell!!!!! why did i decide this was a bad idea!!!!!!!!!

got so self conscious about my filthy fuckin room that i didnt take my date back home with me

:/

my name is already winnifred, ive got that grandma name on lock

The abyss wont even look at me anymore…

the foo fighters are the chick fil a of music

patrick bateman american psycho with a speedrun livesplit or legend of zelda windwaker

Impressive. Very Nice. Let's see Paul Allen's PB.

i dont kno what i mean by this but i bet you could make me cum by parrying me fifty times to deplete my posture bar

guy who has only played Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice finally having sex: getting a lot of 'Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice' vibes from this

if you start hearing boss music during foreplay that's how you know you're in for something really special

when your partner cums and they transition into their second phase >>>>>

it's important to have a nutritious breakfast, you know?

ya i have an inflation kink i can only get off if i think my roth ira is in peril