Not even half way through, but Jim Downey being in One Battle After Another is definitely gonna be my favorite part of this movie.

Hell yeah

Me when I won’t shut up

🤙

uncircumcised quesadilla

if god didn't want me to eat ass, then why can I breathe through my ears

Ich will wieder nach Berlin reisen 😫

🤙🇩🇪🤙

Couldn’t be happier for Cole and Sam. We saw Oh, Mary with Betty Gilpin in February and it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen on stage since the first time I saw The Producers.

For the second time… and I’m still A1 lmao

probably feels incredible to be lightly breaded

Screenshot from a website under the section Health News that reads: BREAKING NEWS Doctors are warning patients not to put spring rolls up their anus Below the headline is a generic image of crispy, golden brown spring rolls on a blue plates with two sauces

Looks like summer is cancelled

*putting on my de-escalation riot gear*

the Demon Twink is my favorite modern cryptid

🤙

fat kitty

WHAT IS THE CHARGE? EATING A MEAL?! A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL?!

booby’s staying at the vet overnight

constantly stuck between my love for patti harrison and my absolute hatred of instagram

Shooting my computer with a g*n for trying to tell me what "Hasan vs Ethan" is

If I had 99 bottles of beer I wouldn’t keep them on a wall, I’d put them in the fridge.

Catty Cardinal Can’t Wait To See Who Got Fat Since Last Conclave

Catty Cardinal Can’t Wait To See Who Got Fat Since Last Conclave
theonion.com/catty-c...

Alex goes to the voting booth and the attendant says "Thanks for coming to vote. Can you show me your identification?" Alex gives her ID to the attendant, which has a pre-transition photo of her on it. She says "I look pretty different since that picture was taken because I changed my gender." The attendant flatly states "you don'yt look that different." and hands her ID back. Alex puts in her bag and looks mildly sad.

the reason I’m not shredded like a fitness model is because I don’t think it would be fair to have that on top of my incredible personality

Saw this opening weekend in the theater in 2nd grade and it’s no small wonder I went on to shoplift and smoke cigarettes and write graffiti

I’d love to get taken care of by the Mafia. To be nurtured and find the comfort and security that comes from being part of a close-knit family

here, entertain yourself

hasan changes profile picture to a dramatic black and white photo

recession indicator

Sign showing a Philly cheesesteak sandwich labeled a “Phillip Cheesecake”

my friend just sent me this from a gas station and I am well and truly dead now 💀