Everyone in his inner circle would be insider trading trading on his death on Kalshi before turning the plane around

completely unironically, this is how we'll know

lost my virginity at the DOGE party

something that's very telling is that these people never name the non-Kamala candidate they think would have won

eggs expensive though. eggs!

joked about Elon ODing and woke up to this email. no idea when i'll be able to post on the other site again. free speech is back baby

langley is chaos right now since the cia is getting fired so if you see someone posting "therapists are a psyop to carry out capitalist emotional labor alienation but yall aren't ready for that conversation" this week you know they're just doing it for the love of the game

We’re gonna get a lot of mileage out of this one

If only, in 2024, Dems had nominated a Presidential candidate significantly younger than Joe Biden or Donald Trump

i get delivery now and then but i'm sorry the arguments for it were definitively lost when "burrito taxi" was coined. there's no coming back from that. the discourse is forever altered, it can never be reignited

Me and my bros dying at the Battle of Saskatchewan because the price of eggs went up fifty cents

it's pretty obvious from her posts about her personal healthcare experiences pre-COVID that she was a raging hypochondriac. posting about being denied medical tests while having gold-plated NYT/WaPo health insurance, etc

TV show episodes from the 80s and 90s would feature a minor character "coming out as gay", because having even a casual acquaintance come out as "gay" was considered a shocking, controversial event. if jeff the video store clerk fucks dudes thats an episode worth of drama right there

can't stress enough how misleading this is to the zoomers. mainstream culture treated gay people like circus freaks, acceptable as entertainment but not in normal life. 'it's gay' was a synonym for 'it sucks' well into the 2000s

it's fascinating how on the left, "ending the war in Ukraine" has become firmly a euphemism for "letting russia win the war in Ukraine", to the point where they won't even acknowledge any other way the war could end.

"Watchfaces these days. They don't glow- they don't glow in the dark. We used to have glow, folks. *hyper-enunciating* Ra-di-um. We had radium. But the liberal democrats, they took it away. They took away our Radium. But in January we're bringing it back folks. We're bringing it back strongly."

the US has has a proud tradition of agnostics and atheists pretending to be Christians for political reasons. but with Trump, he not only doesn't care, he knows so little about Christianity that he's barely able to pretend. press your hands together and look constipated, they seem to like that

As someone who has also worked for an Organization while having Nothing Left To Lose I really identify with the protagonists

Bluesky rocks because I can follow a ton of funny posters who on Twitter have blocked me because my hot takes piss them off. It’s like a second lease on life. Still going to piss them off here though

At this point, I can barely bother to be mad at Trump himself when every headline is like "CANNY INSIDERS SHOCKED TO DISCOVER THAT DONALD TRUMP NOT THREE MITT ROMNEYS IN A TRENCH COAT."

NINTENDO: In Princess Peach Fashion Empire for the first time you’ll see her in a business suit

WHITE MAN: I am become death destroyer of worlds

TRUMP: there are only three rapists in my cabinet. Maybe four

WHITE WOMAN: Money man make groshee less expensive 🤗

The mainstream media doesn’t want men to know about how the allegations against MLK Jr were bullshit.

joe biden needs to spend every second of his lame duck presidency working to pack the white house with increasingly violent dogs

Vance being president would be so fucking funny man. Can you imagine him trying to kiss a baby?

If anybody’s looking for silver lining, the chances of Trump suffering a fatal stroke while on live TV are dramatically higher now that he is President

Trump 2024 is a rainbow coalition of people who think he’ll only go after people a shade browner than they are. What a beautiful metaphor for America

It’s funny how lefties built a whole ideology around white racial prejudice being uniquely Racism and that no other form was a meaningful factor in society and then America elected an authoritarian demagogue on the back of a multiracial coalition of big ol racists of every creed, colour and race

The lesson of 2024 is that Dems need to be more racist. And the good news is that with more than half of Latino men voting for Trump, it’s gonna be hard for them not to be

I guess we’re doing this again huh