Jacking off rn and only letting my true fans know

New York… da city of thieves…

Every dog has its gay

Testing my dad at 1 am about where to get good lamb

I bet the lamb of god is tasty as hell

New move I’ve been pulling is making cocktails in a workout shaker cup it’s so broken

New move I’ve been pulling is making cocktails in a workout shaker cup it’s so broken

This is more at home I’ve ever felt

I’m really feeling tised up rn cause I’m in by far the smallest bathroom stall I’ve ever been in rn and I feel soooooooo safe

Wanna hang out?

Look at this piece of shit. I’d name him Humphrey and only feed him pepperoni

You should read house of leaves

I read like 30 books a year so this doesn’t really bother me

No way he makes more then 80k a year like it CANT be worth it

THISSSSSSSSSSS

I swear that my obsession with dog death as a bit is purely an extension of the fascistic reality of our own world. “The state” as a globally balkanized concept universally decided that dogs are an appropriate tool of violence. I might as well be laughing at a cops gun jamming.

Randomly thinking about the Matt reeves Batman joker deleted scene. Nothing but headcannon but I really like the idea of the joker being a slightly-above-nobody that Batman fucked up into mega psychosis. Like he knocked him into the acid bath. Isn’t that the Spielberg origin?

I think if I’m diaped up I last at least 2 hours. I think the only way I’m getting kicked out is if I’ve literally got shit running down my leg.

Thinking about making a vid where I go to the rnc and take a bunch of laxatives and see how long it takes for them to kick me out. There HAS to be a “pants shitting” protocol in place no way they kick you out after just once.

It’s 18 minutes of characters repeating the same things back to each other and then 6 minutes of legitimately beautifully written characterization

Look I hate to admit how much I’m enjoying one piece but watching the unedited anime is horrendous this shows only good 6 minutes at a time

I walked about 12 miles per day this weekend playing the mh now event and earned enough resources for exactly 1 diablos item. I like it a lot more then Pokémon go. At least the Skinner box here is paid more in calories then money. Whoever decided the drop rates should be sent to The Hague.

Monster hunter now is a truly authentic monster hunter game cause I want to engage in a holy war with whoever designed the loot tables

Divine willing myself into some pussy

I’m buy proxy commander decks and this shits too cheap I’m about to buy 100 black lotus’s and pass them out to strangers on the street

When’s niantic gonna collab with grindr

HUGE PROGRESS BEING MADE WITH GONE DOG! NOW ITS SHAGGY AND SCOOB!

I wanna be the most successful white hotep

Making a cup of decaf cause god gifted me the ability to have an apple fritter and coffee at 11pm without being up all night