Hating auto-tune is homophobic

He should’ve ate his vegetables and cleaned his room

Mikhaila Peterson has revealed that her father is dealing with a serious health condition involving a neurological injury and symptoms of akithisia 🤗

It’s all AI slop until Iran drops another LEGO rap banger

Moid tried to mog me with these weak half-reps but I did full range of motion pull-ups with a backpack on

How have you lived in all these places but still haven’t found a personality?

Jelly Roll winning on Friday Night Smackdown is a recession indicator

I’m in optimal metabolic health, my hormones are well balanced, I get morning wood, my resting heart rate is 60bpm, I’m salaried, I eat salads, I have a pension, I work out, I don’t do drugs, I’m hydrated, debt free, and bored of it all

I go to this same store and every time this mean woman is working and she looks at me with such disdain. I hate her.

One day I want to ask you to love me and it’s imperative for you to know that I am good too

I want you to imagine, if you will, that this is a timely and poignant political take of the correct kind

Do you want to come over and look at the consumer goods I spent my wages on to convey that I have good taste, concealing the fact that I have low self-esteem?

What’s the deal with Redditors playing Tetris and having ass cancer

Ezra Pound would’ve been a lolcow

I honestly thought the Department of War would bring peace

Jim Carrey got bogged

“You know who I love acting? That guy who does them Taken movies. He goes after the guys who took his daughter. He gets em too. Those are good movies.” - Mom on Liam Neeson

We’re a trauma response with a profile, running a 24/7 campaign for our own existence, and the polls never close

Don’t make your burnout everyone else’s problem

Work sucks enough without condescending people who have inconsistent expectations

Neither gay nor straight but playing in the pocket

Touch starved & touch repulsed

Cleveland should be the capital of Ohio

Fat Pikachu, the original

There is another

Honestly thought it might’ve been a nod to Ambrose Bierce, talkin’ about some Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge type shit

Thank God I’ve never seen GoT, otherwise I might have to pray the rosary 📿 🙏

I’m glad to be alive at the end of history with all the right opinions and beliefs to judge the past with. I know as long as I only consume the most morally righteous content and continue to be inerrant that I can be remembered fondly by no one.

New York Times calls it a gripping ride

How brave

The Goon Squad, by Daniel Kolitz Loneliness, porn’s next frontier, and the dream of endless masturbation

Nietzsche’s Last Man was a gooner

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