i wish i didn't know what it felt like to work so hard you end up nauseous

Happy Meal got me feeling like Andre the Giant

i know an illustrator manning a register, a storyteller scrubbing a bar, a multi-instrumentalist working the phones, poets serving tables, painters picking up trash... whole generations of talent thrown into the incinerator of menial labor

Q) Given that it takes more than 2 incomes to keep up a house nowadays, how many women would I have to marry to quit my job and be a housewife? Please show your work.

i can sure try my hardest

petroleum. still ticks me off

need a job that lets me dress like an etsy witch on the clock, and pays all my bills

i'm just remembering that back in the uae, i went to a british curriculum primary school with a house system (yes, just like those wizard books) and they were named palm, pearl, falcon, and, i shit you not, petroleum

need the arsonists to keep it up long enough to accumulate footage for someone to mash together a sick video over firestarter by the prodigy

i think whichever new religious movement goes scorched earth on gambling specifically will win the neo-axial age

easy to feel like a hipster when you're a connoisseur of trans women; each one is a hidden gem. even if she happens to be popular, that's a cult classic

spring lovers give ephebophilia. why is this your favorite season? you love the fresh leaves, budding flowers? oh i bet. disgusting

thing about having tig bitties and still being a stomach sleeper is sometimes you wake up feeling like someone has been crushing the air out of you all night

hate when the random panic attack hits at work cause it's like, i don't got time to panic, i gotta make rent! and then you panic worse

a starbucks cup with happy easter and praise be to allah written on it

hit em all with one of these

can't tell you how tempted I am to greet every customer today with, "happy easter, praise be to allah"

i saw together (2025) like a month ago and i can't stop thinking about it. i want what they had in the end

decided to hang dong at the clothing optional event tonight, in ethel's honor ✊🏼

continuously falling for the trap of thinking i'm loved for the things i offer, when in fact i'm loved just because i am me

it's okay if you have one, you're an adult, already a losy cause

the reaction phobes have when they see socially transitioning kids is the same one i have when i see a kid in a rick and morty shirt, "you can't just let him do that, think of the long term consequences, first it's a shirt, then it's vaping, then come the podcasts!!"

can't believe this app doesn't care about ethel's cane

ripping myself out of my gf's bed to go work a closing shift at the bux feels a little like what adam felt like getting cast out of the garden

israel, a country that famously tries children in military court as adults and jails them, just passed a law where they get to kill all incarcerated palestinians. and no one will stop them. not content to bomb kids from the air, they will just execute them now.

being breathlessly excited to tell my mother that i saw a cormorant in the wild a couple weeks ago is just one of the many ways i know i have become her

i know it's been 65 million years, but it still makes me sad whenever a documentary depicts the asteroid that ended the age of dinosaurs

"oh i got a pair of jncos. no, not modern jncos. period jncos, classic jncos, from the dawn of jncos jncos"
- thing i said yesterday

not yet

watched 12 angry men with my gf last night (the '97 version, cause i like it more). she'd never seen it before, and after doing so, decided the genre it belongs to should be called "civic fantasy"

“Explain this gap in your resume?”

“Feet”