An appropriately WL-cited unpublished opinion!

Lexis citations in a brief is like using Comic Sans.

I won’t have it.

Vance: “It’s a joke. No, not a joke. What’s that thing that’s spelled the same backward and forwards?”

U.S.: “A palindrome? It’s not a palindrome! The palindrome of Jesus is Susej. It don’t work!”

Vance: “No, not a joke. What’s that thing that’s spelled the same backward and forwards?”

U.S.: “A palindrome? It’s not a palindrome! The palindrome of Jesus is Susej. It don’t work!”

George Bailey and Vasco da Gama have formed an exploratory committee.

Our jobs involve assuming people will read what we write, listen to us talk, and be persuaded by our reasoning.

Who’d lay odds on that?!

Sorry, Chatrie. Starkist likes tuna that tastes good.

So’s the Artemis crew, but you don’t hear them complaining.

Italians hate the Yugoslavs,
South Africans hate the Dutch,
And I don’t like anybody very much.

I’ve got “Peter and the Wolf” stuck in my head. Somebody shoot me.

Not you, Timpani.

If anyone actually did reinvent the wheel, they could make Pi easier to calculate.

An interesting distinction. I absolutely use WL’s AI like a research assistant/associate to help get me started on topics I’m less familiar with, while I simultaneously do my own research. And like the anonymous lawyer I review everything before I use it, but are published articles different?

Just had an opposing counsel say he had to check with his client about agreeing to an extension request.

Seems there’s a lot of swinging dicks in appellate world today.

They’re not booing. They’re saying, “Moooooose.”

They’re not booing. They’re saying, “Moooooose.”

HIKE!

Not reading this! Nope! I want to sleep nights.

I was school friends with Ted Cruz, Justice Jackson, and Alex Acosta, but no two of them at the same school.

(And you could add Marco Rubio, except we weren’t friends.)

We’re set for an argument,
But prefer some relief.
Take it off the calendar,
And decide in our briefs.

#AppellateValentines

Roses are red,
This Book is Blue,
I’ve cited my love,
See supra n.2.

#AppellateValentines

Concurring, specially.

#AppellateValentine

Fuck you, Westlaw. A 2010 case is not too old to rely on!

All cases after 2000 are current law!!!

You know what’s good for stress and feeling overwhelmed?

Alcohol.

People should know about this! Maybe they can advertise.

I *KNEW* it!

Just me, or does “Kenneth Walker III” sound like a member of the Bush family?

It would be just like the goddamned Patriots to win this.

Man, I hate them.

Super Bowl Bingo Legal Argument:

“‘QB SCRAMBLES FOR 1st DOWN’ doesn’t say he *made* the 1st Down. Only that he scrambled *for* one.”