Two nights ago, I had a dream that I was surfing on a huge slice of meatloaf in Puerto Rico.

Just one of many highlights from last night's awesome @nullsleep.bsky.social show at @wonderville.nyc. @minusbaby.bsky.social toasting over Nullsleep's mutant jungle. 🔥🔥 Such a fun night, full of great music and great people. 🤍💙

At this point, there's no such thing as a centrist Democrat. They're MAGA now. Fuckin' cowards.

Yeah, I do that, too. I pre-boil the water. It makes the coffee less bitter.

There is something deeply, deeply wrong with Trump's brain; and Republicans don't mind.

RIP USA because of those motherfuckers.

MAGA don't have tear ducts. Their empathy is concrete.

We don't have a president. We have a resident.

Say it again. FUCK ICE.

#fuckICE #fuckTrump

Happy Día de los Reyes ✌🏼🇵🇷

There's no money for US healthcare, but there's money to invade and occupy Venezuela for oil.

😐

That's true. And it glitches out sometimes.

I'm so old that I remember paper bus transfers.

Also, the OMNY card design is sexy. The MetroCard has always been ugly.

Like, I'm a native New Yorker who is still here and I feel low-key stupid gatekeeping MetroCards, but people need to stay in their lane.

Gentrifiers are lamenting the end of the MetroCard like they actually grew up here.

Lifetime warranties are funny because the company is looking to force you into thinking they'll be in business until you die.

ICE is ISIS

“DeBÍ TiRAR MáS FOToS” is my favorite album of 2025

On Christmas night, two guys were arguing outside and one guy yelled, “so fuck you and fuck you!” 🤭

Trump keeps falling asleep in public. Just call him Sleptstein.

The predictability of Trump's nonsense is exhausting.

The vibe of the planet is so grim that I don't know what to do, and I think most people feel this way which is weirdly comforting, but should be unnecessary.

Drug commercial:

“Don't take [drug name] if you're allergic to [drug name].”

How would I know if I'm allergic to it without taking it?

😐

Nah, he kinda looked like Erik Estrada

People have been interpreting it as a toe as an ingredient.

Maybe the secret is to mix the bouillon with a toe. 🤔

I had a dream where some guy said, “the toe makes the best bouillon,” so now I'm wondering if that's true.

Wear an FTP t-shirt on a first date to break the ICE

If I'd owned a restaurant in Virginia, I'd develop a sammich named “The Abigail Spamburger”.

Watching videos of people recording podcasts is one of the goofiest things humans have come up with.

'Sup.