later today trump will pay respect to his american christian followers by reading from their holiest text, the alabama age of consent statute

In Our Glorious AI Future, There Will Be No Such Thing as Money (For You) “In the future, there is such a thing as money. But there’s no such thing as your money. All the money is our money.”

"Honestly, you should be thankful we’re freeing you from the burden of having massive amounts of money... We’re going to have to spend a good chunk of it on bunkers and machine-gun-wielding robot dogs to protect us from the mass social unrest we’re creating."

Towson University dorm shooting was over $1,000 Celine hat, policy say Gage Flood, 19, of Manchester, has been charged with armed robbery and other offenses in relation to a dorm shooting at Towson University.

Towson University dorm shooting was over $1,000 Celine hat, police say

Glorious

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

Trump Library Saga Takes Dark Turn: Where Did Millions in Funding Go? Four huge media conglomerates forked over $63 million in “settlements” earmarked for Trump’s presidential library. Democrats are trying to track that money—and the latest developments don’t inspire co...

SCOOP --> Paramount, Meta, and X are refusing to say what happened to their huge contributions to Trump's presidential library after Sen Elizabeth Warren raised questions about its fund getting dissolved. Ds say tens of millions remain unaccounted for.

Details here:
newrepublic.com/article/2092...

The Deepfake Nudes Crisis in Schools Is Much Worse Than You Thought An analysis by WIRED and Indicator found nearly 90 schools and 600 students around the world impacted by AI-generated deepfake nude images—and the problem shows no signs of going away.

Maybe instead of pushing social media and smartphone bans, politicians and educators should confront the growing and deeply troubling issue of nudify apps being used on schoolchildren

Great analysis from @mattburgess1.bsky.social, in collaboration @indicator.media

www.wired.com/story/deepfa...

30 years ago today, Principal Skinner purchased fast food to disguise as his own cooking at an unforgettable luncheon with Superintendent Chalmers.

#TheSimpsons episode “22 Short Films About Springfield” first aired April 14, 1996.

Pete Alonso hit the homer to Mr. Splash wearing a polar bear head 🤣

It really is just a compliment machine, made by and for guys who weren't getting compliments anymore.

Forgot to take photo proof

Can confirm, it's spectacular today

you do not have to hand it to tucker carlson or marjorie taylor greene or alex jones or megyn kelly. they're all rats who see trump as a sinking ship and they're getting ready to jump in preparation for their next act. you do not have to fall for it.

Like even if this all ends without an escalation from the present level of bloodshed Trump and his administration should be held accountable for the threat alone. Making this threat, on its own, is a crime against humanity.

I think it's bad for the President to threaten to annihilate an entire culture and i do not think you are being alarmist if you take his threats seriously and literally.

TRUMP: "I'm gonna fuckin' blow up all the fuckers! I wanna use all the bombs before I die! Helter skelter! Helter skelter! Race war! Race war! Fuck Easter and fuck you, too!"

NEWS: "Trump promises to strengthen military in early morning Easter greeting."

There is no excuse for downplaying or eliding the insanity of Trump’s morning post. It is the most unhinged public comment by a president in US history and should be reported and remarked upon as such.

Never forget that Bondi loves dogs so much she reportedly tried to steal one from a 4-year-old who lost his parents in a murder-suicide.
www.theatlantic.com/magazine/202...

DHS says it has body-cam footage related to Pretti shooting in Minneapolis The lawsuits aim to prevent federal officials from destroying evidence related to Alex Pretti’s killing and to end the surge of immigration officers in Minnesota.

It's been 66 days since agents killed Alex Pretti.

DHS has body-cam footage.

They haven't released it.

66 days and counting.

www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2026/...

I Have No Object Permanence, and I Vote “With a brain that’s permanently set to read-only, it’s easy for me to pick strong candidates who don’t waste time planning ahead because ‘ahead’ is an illus...

"When I go into that voting booth, I think about three important things: What the man on the pamphlet looks like, what the name of the man on the pamphlet is, and whether or not that man is trapped in the pamphlet and needs help to get out."

Using a VPN May Subject You to NSA Spying US lawmakers are pressing Tulsi Gabbard to reveal whether using a VPN that connects to overseas servers can strip Americans of their constitutional protections against warrantless surveillance.

NEW: If you use a VPN that connects to overseas servers—which is often the whole point—it may, ironically, subject you to warrantless surveillance under US law. @dell.bsky.social has the scoop: www.wired.com/story/using-...

Your data is everywhere. The government is buying it without a warrant Data brokers buy up huge amounts of information from cell phones and browsers to sell for targeted advertising. But the government, including ICE, also buys the data.

No really, I am not kidding when I say that the data broker industry must be destroyed: www.npr.org/2026/03/25/n...

r/BrandNewSentence (see original post)

Markets Surge After Trump Claims He Had Sex With An Angel NEW YORK—In what came as a welcome shock to investors amid recent dips in the global economy, markets reportedly surged Tuesday after President Donald Trump wrote in a Truth Social Post that he’d had ...

“I AM PLEASED TO REPORT THAT OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS AN ANGEL HAS VISITED ME IN MY SLEEP AND I HAVE HAD VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE SEX WITH IT,” read the lengthy, all-caps post

This Company Is Secretly Turning Your Zoom Meetings into AI Podcasts WebinarTV hosts 200,000 “webinars.” A Zoom call you may thought was private might be one of them.

This is wild: a company is secretly scanning the internet for Zoom meeting links and turning them into AI-generated podcasts for $$$. Some meeting participants only found out after we told them. Included meeting on protecting kids from ICE, was supposed to be private www.404media.co/this-company...

Every day you just learn about another weird dude who suddenly has power to do evil things

EXCLUSIVE: Trump Admin Wrongfully Deported More Than 100 Asylum Seekers BALTIMORE—In surprise testimony in federal court Thursday, an immigration officer revealed that...

BALTIMORE—In surprise testimony in federal court Thursday, an immigration officer revealed that more than 100 asylum seekers were wrongfully deported in violation of a court-ordered settlement agreement in a long-running case that has gotten national attention.

talkingpointsmemo.com/news/exclusi...

Cops have unlimited ability to ruin our lives and as soon as they get a little pushback they turn into the biggest babies in the world part 100,000

Senator Accuses Blanche of Blocking Release of Unredacted Epstein Document In separate letters, Democrats Wyden and Whitehouse press the deputy attorney general and attorney general for answers on secret Epstein investigations involving transnational organized crime.

NEW: Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche is blocking the DEA from releasing an unredacted document from the Epstein files about an investigation involving drug trafficking & money laundering, according to a letter @wyden.senate.gov sent to Blanche Tuesday

www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

Trump Demands Staff Get King Of Hormuz On Line

Trump Demands Staff Get King Of Hormuz On Line theonion.com/trump-demands-staff-get-...