And the female narrator is Jennifer Coolidge in a wig and fake glasses who says the FMC’s name wrong 😭 Nope. Can’t do it.

WHY in the FUCK would the narrator become suddenly british for book 2???????? 20 seconds into the prologue and I genuinely don’t think I can do this

I have two books to file these under “same niche trope but I can’t tell you which one without spoilers” but then if you had read one, you know the twist in the other. so really, I can’t win

Saturday morning shifts are nice and boring until it’s RSD and I’m trapped here 😭😭😭

WHEN will I master the art of the slow open 😭 Literally ready to go and it’s not even 9, not even open yet, and I can almost guarantee I won’t see another human being until at least 10:30.

date idea: we go to Murdochs and pet all the baby chicks

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. “tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fuckin scared of him” goes so hard and is one of my favorite lyrics ever

the feminine urge to go to the aquarium and say “i’ve caught that in Animal Crossing” at every tank

move house

exactly lol but I’m in the post migraine brain fog and couldn’t remember the word 💀💀

as someone who suffered through the era of low rise so low you had to shave to wear jeans, you can pry my high waisted pants out of my cold dead hands before I ever go back to that 😭

my husband and I were discussing how we wipe and I told him about period loogies 💀 he said he’s literally never once heard of it or considered it but please say you know what I’m talking about 💀💀💀

my coworker goes by Maddy but her email says Madalyn so nobody knows to call her Maddy and she’s too nice to say anything 😭 just out here being full named all day long for years

screenshot of the iphone messages app with 136 unread messages

screenshot of the iphone phone app with 125 missed calls and un-listened-to voicemails

screenshot of the iphone snapchat app with 26 unread messages

screenshot of the iphone email app with 65,191 unread messages

“hey did you see my text?”

believe it or not, no I didn’t 💀

I had a student with a learning disability jump from the first to TENTH percentile in math and an English Learner go from “high risk” to “college pathway” in reading!!! I know what I’m doing and I have things that work, but I’m still a baby teacher in their eyes.

This is my fifth year teaching, and it is such a frustrating time. I’m too new to have any credible input, even though my degree program included the most recent research of anyone on my team, but I’ve improved so much and I clearly use strategies that work because my kids’ growth shows that.

this 2004 I work with doesn’t know what “slap the bag” means???? sorry???? what are they teaching you in college these days 😭😭

Demons by Imagine Dragons just came on and the 2012 tumblr girl in me just activated like a fucking sleeper agent oh my god

for anyone who doesn’t know: fehu- wealth and prosperity, gebo- luck and gifts

I work in this tiny casino on Saturdays and a regular swears he only hits big on days when I’m here. like $4500 big. no one tell him it’s bc I use runes and write fehu and gebo on my wrist every time I’m here 🥰

something in the air smells like chopping my hair off in my bathroom 👀 it’s that time of year where we up my meds 😅

Pretty much, it helps with seasonal depression

and if you haven’t heard of them, they’re basically super bright lamps that simulate sunlight and can help with winter depression and keeping a consistent circadian rhythm when it’s pitch black at 3 pm

someone just asked if I’ve heard of happy lights… babe I’m bipolar and from Alaska. have I heard about happy lights, they’re reason I survived high school

screenshot of the Spotify tracklist of The Tortured Poets Department album by Taylor Swift, showing the songs The Prophecy, Cassandra, Peter, and The Bolger

No one talk to me, I’m having a moment yet again with this absolute ELITE track run

I’m finally reading crescent city for the first time after having read TOG and ACOTAR twice each and oh my god the fucking lavender soap. Sarah J Maas when I find you…

Absolutely. This was the absolute darkest point in my life and it’s really fucking with me to think about it again.

And we now have the first March Friday the 13th since then… Please please let it close the loop 🤞

No genuinely, I kept waking up CONSTANTLY and the few times I did sleep, I had real fucked up dreams

Empty grocery store shelves in March 2020

Empty grocery store shelves in March 2020

Empty grocery store shelves in March 2020

Empty grocery store shelves in March 2020

Thinking about the collective trauma we all faced and how this was somehow SIX years ago?? Friday the 13th in March 2020 was the last “normal” day I had for a very long time…