If I were rich and famous, I too would be publicly shaming kids that stared at me in restaurants so I see no scandal here.

me watching videos of the U.S. men’s hockey team

I just smoked a cigarette outside of Applebee’s while someone was getting arrested in the parking lot and it healed something inside me.

Pam Bondi is a boil on the butt of humanity.

“It was the best of times (brat summer), it was the worst of times (the fall of democracy).”

when they ask who radicalized you and it was just this little guy

My Smoky Mountain Muse is 80 today. I love you, Dolly!

3 coffees, no lunch

Directed by Mark, Rick, or Steve

me reacting to good news in 2026

"I never see you at the club." Okay? I never see you enjoying the splendor of film in your local cinema with a crisp Diet Coke.

posting even though I slept until noon today

Ouiser Boudreaux will return in Avengers: Doomsday

I truly didn’t expect so many people would care if I returned to @dltoots but I am so happy that I did. Thank you to those that stuck around and welcomed me back and if you’re new here: howdy and hold onto your hats.

I need them on a season of The White Lotus immediately.

Here I come again…

El Capitan displays a massive American flag upside down—the traditional signal of distress or extreme emergency.

Apparently, if a cop pulls you over for speeding and asks why you were going so fast, telling them it was because you were listening to Vroom Vroom by @charlixcxofficial.bsky.social will make them laugh and let you off with a warning.

me thinking about all the times I was nice when I should have been mean

We live in one of the dumbest timelines to ever exist, but at least Dolly Parton is here.

Truvy, there’s a Grindr notification from Mark, Rick, or Steve in my purse!

Ordering Subway for lunch because I’m craving a 12” Italian for some reason.

*me defending Luigi Mangione*

Your honor, he thought it was Skinny n Sweet.

every egg in the house is gone or whatever Trace Adkins said

me in my echo chamber

inside me are three wolves. they all have track lighting and are named mark, rick, and steve.

me leaving x for bluesky