Imagine holding these two thoughts in your head simultaneously:
1) I used to do cocaine off of toilet seats.
2) Here is some advice.

I had a buddy tell me a year or two ago that YT was definitely pushing Shorts creation.

The fascism is a distraction from the fascism is a distraction from the

Can we ever get just one piece of good news? Thanks.

If a guy in a nursing home were going on like this, his kids would be getting a call from the staff recommending a more advanced level of care.

😎😎😎😎 GOOD THINGS CAN STILL HAPPEN 😎😎😎😎

Let me get a sweet potato casserole too, cuz.

Happy Halloween! The self-proclaimed buttholes are back again today to recount the best, worst, and funniest of Star Wars Halloween costumes. C'mon. You know you had at least one of these. Hear the episode here: thealabamatake.com/p...

A quote from Ronnie Lee Gipson, “It’s fixin to get Roll Tider’n Hell in here”.

SEC refs have fucked the Barn twice tonight. This is horrible. And I’m a Bama fan.

ICE attempted
and failed to disappear a food delivery guy.
It needed to be scored.

I will laugh every fucking time somebody celebrates a TD too early and fumbles the ball through the end zone for a touchback.Every fucking time.

As you cancel streaming services, here is a casual reminder that only 16% of Americans read for pleasure anymore, and your local library has hundreds or thousands of books you haven't read.

They would love to see you stop by and renew your library card.

Everybody except me.

Interesting. Quit yelling at people on the internet and do something about the situation instead.

Hey @theeminus5.bsky.social, the Birmingham show was great. Thanks for chatting briefly after the show!

I only miss Twitter during football season.

Happy Birthday, Peanus!

I’m mostly looking to be entertained and informed. But also, I hate having to be informed.
I miss Twitter during football season though.

My next album is called Popcorn and Milk

Listen. Fuck Charlie Sheen forever. But I think I have to watch that documentary.

What’s the best concert movie filmed in a theater?

We live in Hell.

One of my buddies said “RIP Hulkamania. Fuck Terry Bollea” and I felt that.

Marvel Celebrates The Muppets 70th Anniversary with Variant Covers! A blog about Jim Henson, The Muppets, and Sesame Street merchandise.

Marvel is teaming up with The Muppets with a series of variant covers featuring the Muppets as various Marvel characters!
#TheMuppets70

“Anyway. This song is about Alabama. It’s called BackSweat”.
Me, probably, if I was still in a band.

Feels like we're moving past the creepy letter and the wonderful secrets awful quick. Don't forget: he's so scared of it and whatever is still to be revealed HE SENT HIS PRESS SECRETARY OUT TO TALK ABOUT HIS BIG FAT ANKLES.

I'll straight up call something a doohickey when it's clearly a thingamajig. I really don't give a shit anymore.