it's the leftovers but i actually care this time

a grapefruit that's no longer an object made of organic matter with measurable attributes like weight and volume and water composition and color and smell and taste but instead an object both composed of and composed by an indescribably complex neural network whose quadrillions of iterative operations relying on all known inputs are both incalculable and inscrutable and whose outputs are of improbable logical, technical, or observable connection to the very inputs that generated them other than the precise system through which one has led to the other in a futile attempt to replicate the truly inconceivable activity performed by the human mind during the creation of a single thought but with the foresight that recreating such activity is both physically and metaphysically impossible and therefore this entire endeavor serves no purpose other than to create an equally inscrutable subject upon which a purposefully obfuscated series of financial instruments can be built on little more than hype force-multiplied by that same inscrutability and marketed to the richest and ironically greediest yet somehow also stupidest among us to drive billions of dollars in investment with neither an actionable business plan to create processes that are designed to deliver an equivalent or higher value of vendible goods or services to justify such an inflated valuation nor a long-term strategic plan with carefully constructed timelines for resource dispensation and benchmarks for evaluating the effectiveness of said business plan but by the time anyone notices it will be too late as myself and my other ground floor grapefruit investors will have cashed out of our reskinned pump-and-dump scheme and run off to reinvest our liquid assets in villas built out of cybertrucks and yachts constructed out of rare woods that only grow in one grove in the world for no reason other than i can do it so anyway now that i have your attention invest your money in my bullshit you cockroaches let's goooo

this grapefruit is now an AI company, fund me (business prospectus in alt text)

and thus the Goonaissance was born

i would happily run through a giant field of blooming Zohrans, pollen be damned

no jerry keep going you're on a roll

this was always the destiny of a guy who's been talking to his cat for almost 50 years

every time i see its lesser-used cousin "OOP" i think someone had a shocking accident

World's biggest condom maker Karex to raise prices due to Iran war Malaysia-based Karex produces more than five billion condoms a year and supplies global brands like Durex and Trojan.

headline: fuckers fucked by fucking fighting fucks

challenge accepted 😠

that fish is definitely motoring

this is true for many companies

how many you ask?

yes

jerry, no!

wait

jerry... yes?

ahhhh i don't like this this feels weird

not at all! there are always roles full of self-enrichment opportunities for enterprising melanoma slendermen

a sign in nagoya, japan advertising a restaurant called "chopped salad days"

it's true, these salad days ARE chopped

Please ignore the typo ignore

as many as it takes to forget

so that's a "no" vote from me for 2028

rathah distinguished

but if she did time travel to see david bowie she'd be even more incredible and make more amazing art and THAT helps everyone

what'd killing hitler ever do

isn't the pope literally defined by infallibility? jewish guy asking

this is like saying "the bbq pit master is incorrect on matters of the time and temperature at which to cook meat"

we all saw your bob, governor. this will do a lot of good.

IL leading the nation again!

FWIW us in the other half are happy to watch morons blow their cash on sportsball bc we've seen the candidates they donate to

imagine being trans but also you're an elitist shitstain who lives in a universe of one

don't worry, my "everyone" is like 40 people

hey everyone, jerry wants to say something and i *think* you need to hear it

6yos go hard these days

omg the Rumours are true

Thanks. I will ask my wife about bands.

ocular peppersmashing