Writing tip: Make the perfect the enemy of the good. Then it's way hotter when they fuck at the end of the book.

it's like the Lord of the Rings trilogy condensed into a short video about soup, if that makes any sense at all

my god

oh thank god, so he only comes for one

not enough to be Fredo, must become Super Fredo

Mini penne With a photo of a mall miniature penne pasta

*Sean Connery voice

Monte Carlo

totally young, a lot of stuff still to do

they want to do both but couldn't until the internet

the chicks are gonna be so cute

like a shar pei chicken?

The Pee Tape Is Real, but It’s Fake It took a long, confounding effort to disbelieve it.

do you remember this article?

the link to the pee tape site no longer works, BUT WHY NOT

oh my god though

i uh did this, thank heavens

let this be the day

there should be a comma or some sort of punctuation on that post but whatevs

if you haven't check out insanely hot pre code stanwyck

love that movie

yeah i mean, that's why he's here, for the ring

boo innit

i mean, stumptown?

let this be the day

maybe you could put a tent over it so multiple-day Risk games can be left as they are while everyone contemplates strategy

we watched the last one today and the opening smeagol-steals-the-ring scene is super scary (my kid is 11)

when there was only one airpod in his ear, that was when he was listening to your yapping

everyone knows black people vote for the candidate they support, which absolutely infuriates Republicans

I have several unreserved hours tomorrow in which i plan to write 1500 words about a book I haven't yet read on a topic I know almost nothing about, it will be fine, deadline tomorrow evening

me, weeping at my desk, saying a little too loudly to no one:

It was the calm before the—as it turned out—further calm, each calm preceding the next, day after day of relentless, stultifying calm, until we could no longer remember anything but the calm, nor hope that anything would ever exist beyond the calm, the endless, ongoing calm, the final calm.

Don't bring a knife to a gunfight. Bring a knife to a vault containing many wheels of cheese in a brutalized postapocalyptic society where knives are only a legend. You are now Knifebringer, Divider of the Cheese. Raise your knife and rule the clans.