Never met anybody who tried forcing IPAs on anybody else.

Hot take: people who hate IPAs are ten times more insufferable about it than people who like them.

Can you please explain the recent gap in your resume?

Sorry, figured society would’ve finished collapsing by now.

I’m hearing reports that the boys are back in town. Huge if true.

The titanic sank so that Fenway Park could rise.

Full disclosure, I haven’t actually been to NYC recently, but it looks fun as shit when I see it in IG reels.

Fox News: Chicago and San Fransisco are the most horrifying hell holes ever seen by modern humans. If we don’t get rid of Zohran and Wu, Boston and New York will be next.

Average guy when he visits Chicago, NYC, SF or Boston: wow this place fucking rules I should come here more often.

Tattooing this on my forehead so the mean bullies will cut it out!

a man is dancing in front of a green background with the words `` just do it '' . Alt: Shia Labeouf flexing in front of a green background with the words `` just do it '' .

Trump regime: but if we prosecute all of the child rapists the entire child rapist protection system will collapse!

Maybe if we all shovel our snow in front of the White House trump will get stuck inside for a while.

Can’t wait for the Red Sox to be “interested” in Bo Bichette for a couple of weeks now that they missed out on Bregman after a couple months of being “aggressive”.

“Don’t be afraid to fail” - wannabe LinkedIn influencer whose parents bought him a condo as a college graduation present and had never struggled to pay for anything in his life.

In theory, if enough of us are in on it, we actually don’t need to circle back.

The best part about January is when every single millennial logs online to collectively post along the lines of “when I said let’s circle back, I didn’t mean it”

Can you please explain the recent gap in your resume?

Sorry, figured society would’ve finished collapsing by now.

Trump looks at Zohran Mamdani the way I look at Drake Maye.

If you followed me on twitter, you know I’ve said this before, but this time I really mean it.

Those economics are gonna trickle down any day now. I can feel it.

Drake Maye

The profile pictures of a man who says that the left are the ones with “Trump derangement syndrome”.

Instead of a boring museum with plaques, it’s just one of those batting cages where you hit a ball into a screen and it projects how far it’d go. But instead of real projections, everything is a 500+ foot bomb.

They should make a baseball hall of gear and it’s just all the guys who are being excluded for juicing.

I once made an x-box live account called like “T3amKi11er69” and did exactly that in CoD4. It was just a throw away free for a month account.

But the fun of hearing people say things like “who’s team killing?!” or “wtf who’s killing me” gave me joy that I haven’t forgotten. Huge part of my lore.

No they weren’t. Stfu man.

Women are mammals who don’t need to apologize for or hide hair. Do what you gotta do for the look you’re going for, but I hope you can find comfort in letting yourself have some “no effort days”

First name, a lot, last name, shits

What a lot of people don’t know is that you can get automatic tenure at your job by shitting on the roof.

Ok but why?

Imagine a world where you could just go get a beer somewhere and not wonder if the people across the bar from you are going to be kidnapped by masked assailants on their way home.

Summer is simply not as much fun when there’s a dictator actively taking over your country and people keep just pretending that everything is normal.