I’ve done that myself. And found myself on ‘Memories of RAF…’ pages where that kind of thing was happening within the pages. People generating pictures of events and air days and just the most banal weird crap.
I don’t understand why you’d want to invent things that you were AT.
Watching something that’s been aggressively graded.
Should teeth, eyeballs and most greenery be blue?
I clicked on a photo of the work being done on the old pier in Weston. Now it’s all I see on Facebook. Along with all the comments. The stench of Reform makes me go cross-eyed.
There’s nothing that bitter puce thumbs can’t be racist or sexist about by the end of their run-on sentences.
Get a sponsorship deal and product promotions with antiseptic lotion and plasters manufacturers. I like it.
Bless him, Ted Himmler.
Oh, I’ve already got tha….
I’ve said too much.
Shush. Can’t talk now. I’ve stolen a kid and I’m making them take photos of elephants…
Hang on. Best order a crusader dress-up kit. I’d need to blend in.
Remind me to never wrong you. That's dark. Dark.
*howling wind in trees....*
That’s just cruel. I’d never move a muscle.
Somewhat adjacent to what my uncle said.
Oh my god. I can't compete with that. That sounds lip-bitingly infuriating.
My uncle however did have to do an 8 hour round trip in Australia to collect her handbag from a cafe.
I am point blank refusing to let her add her card to an Amazon account. I can't go through this every time she wants to order something insane that won't work.
"They say the garden hose attachment makes it as powerful as a pressure washer"
"It won't work"
"THEY SAY IT WILL!"
The indignant "I DO NOT" like closing an app is equal to beating badgers to death with a hammer, or shitting through the letterbox of the neighbour....
This is the longest I've ever sat with my head in my hands. That includes 45 years of supporting West Ham. The death of my nan. The death of the cats. Trump being elected. Twice. Trying to watch Marvel films. Working for shit clients.
"How do I close an app?"
"You do it all the time"
"I DO NOT"
I wouldn't mind if we didn't have to use this app regularly.
We have stopped. 25 minutes. No payment approved.
She's reading everything on the web page. Including the terms and conditions.
She won't stop.
I can't make her stop.
She won't stop fucking talking...
eleventh attempt...
This might be the death of me.
Trying to help mother pay for her house insurance online.
She keeps declining the payment in her banking app. Because she won't put her glasses on.
Kinda wish I’d had children. So I could monetize them.
“Right. The video is running. Play the drums.”
“I don’t like the drums.”
“Play. The. Fucking. Drums.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Jesus. Do something funny then.”
“Like what?”
“Fall over.”
“That’d hurt.”
“I NEED 1m VIEWS. GET FALLING.”
Being able to hire a tradesperson…
The Time Team Experience. The lad with the most bantz in your group gets buried in a field. Using only archeological geophysics equipment, with no instructions, you have to find him before the air runs out.
I did used to enjoy people falling off things and landing ribcage first into the sharp corners of the set decorations, so perhaps they could do that first…and THEN be sucked into the vacuum of space…
Ugh. Crashing bores. What are they like? *nervous look to camera*
Just saw the tv ad for ‘The Crystal Maze Experience’…
*slow turn to camera*
A bunch of braying wankers in a barely decorated room.
Can’t wait for the angry people in local newspapers stories about THAT.
A wish list for the man replacing Tim Cook as Apple's CEO
Find Apple's identity again? Stop producing end-of-life WH Smith's pile it high, pile it wide crap?
"It's an operating system, but it's ALSO a toaster, and if you want to communicate ONLY in emojis - then the new gibberish bar is here for you, in case you're seven years old."
Everyone's favourite 4ft tall acoholic who likes private jets and playing tough guy dress up, promises election fraud arrests are coming soon.
"....coming soon...but *hic* I just gotta finish this beer first, and then it's time for Madam Palm and her five lovely *hic* daughters, and then maybe a nap but *hic* I'm right on it..."