i thought about his face and he's genuinely so hot i want to die

i'm not trying to make the guy uncomfortable i'm just trying to lose my mind about him somewhere because having a crush makes me neurotic

i put all my tougher feelings here instead because i don't really want to make his life any harder by having him see me talk about pining and jealousy. he has a lot on his plate with everything that's been going wrong recently and i'm really glad things seem like they're settling down.

they're so cute when they're happy and giddy about things

i don't really know where i stand with him right now or what i'm allowed to do and say with how i feel but i want him so bad and i keep daydreaming about him. aside the jealousy (which is a non-issue), we have a rewarding friendship. i just don't know what i'm allowed to say/do w/o fucking it up

i'm pining so hard. it's so bad for me

i love my stupid fuckass headmates who ruin my life

i'm a horrible stranger to myself sometimes. i need to reconcile this with what i know because i don't know how to move forward as a person

i'm more unstable than i like giving myself credit for. it's really astounding

this is killing me crazy style but that's okay. i'm just walking around trying to navigate a bunch of unreasonable feelings out of my own sense of entitlement. it bears addressing, even if it's a tired trope played out again and again and again

good news: he knew & also had a crush on me

Doblas fw26/27 #fashionsky

my beloved children love nothing more than waiting until the second their mother has taken one step out the door to Go Insane

do you think they'll ever add the functionality for private accounts? i want to be able to exist and discuss things without being found or in contact with the general public

(implacable cold
making mockery of gloves;
insensate shiver)

i very emphatically do not know what i'm doing with my life. confessing to him might've been a bad idea but it also might've been the best

spongebob me boy

i am having a crisis of faith because i ended up confessing my romantic attraction to that friend i was into. it was destabilising us a lot to keep that in because it felt so grimy to feel that way about him without 'permission'.

trying to do some creative writing and my eyes immediately unfocusing because i don't know what to write. i'm going to kill everyone about everything

fuck my stupid faggot life

i want him so bad it makes me look stupid. what the fuck

i need to lock the fuck in. i have an actual life to live that isn't 'preying' on a friend with my affections. it's so stupid that my brain conceives of a crush as predatory.

i'd like to be in his life for a really long time, in whatever capacity i'm able to be. whatever capacity he's willing to let me be in

i don't want things to be awkward between us if he ever finds out or if i ever confess. i don't want him to feel obligated to be in a relationship with us or to reciprocate our feelings because of the structure of our friendships with our other friends. i just like being around him and loving him.

starting to care for someone romantically makes me deeply neurotic. i never know what to do with myself. i feel like i'm violating something just by existing in my feelings about him. he's just so good

he's on dates with other people all the time and here i am, too skittish and worried about our friendship to make a move. i don't want to ruin anything or unsettle the group dynamic by approaching him about it. i don't want to make them uncomfortable. i just really like him a lot

i think he's so thoughtful and communicative, caring, funny, intriguing, and gorgeous. cannot be understated how fucking stunning he is. bites my fucking fist about it

i have a really insane crush on one of my friends and i'm going to need to relax about this. the pining is getting kind of embarrassing, in all honesty.

what do you mean?

yeah