And today the rest of the world is laughing at us twice as hard.

No wait - they’re laughing at HIM twice as hard.

OMG thats so killer funny. Thanks for the grin.

A golden retriever has both paws up at a bank teller’s window.

“Are you the branch manager?”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”

Hakeem Jeffries showrd up on TVtonite saying DJT and the Republicans “failed” America.

Cmon, dude. They didn’t fail America.

They *fucked* America.

So say it loud and like it is, bro.

Flu leads to pneumonia.

Can’t be killin’ no sand monkeys from a sickbay army cot, canya?

Hopefully the smart kids get the jab, cuz the jab is optional.

I knew i liked you for a good reason.

>Homer Simpson voice< Boooooobs …
Dooonuts.
No wait, booooobs …

My prediction: DJT gonna vacillate all pong pong ball til whatever forces arrive in a few weeks and attack the strait and oil islands.

At which point casualties will be “just fuck me” level.

At which point ALL of America will wakeup and then seriously question WTF Pete Hegseth is doing there.

Women would have no choice but to really like me. Because I really don’t love or even marginally like ‘The 3 Stooges.’

Sorry, ‘Law & Order’. ‘Perry Mason’ is still the king of courtroom witness-box breakdown drama.

I always stay away from any restaurant that uses “homemade” (or “home made” Down South) in their menu descriptions because I’ve been in ppls’ homes and seen their kitchens.

There are more pleasant ways to die.

Cartel dudes gonna be calling on you to melt down their stolen gold into convenient-to-carry loafs.

Trip up those in your next workplace meeting by saying “Let’s not put the cart before the mule” instead of the horse.

Your cohorts will see this as something momentous.

LOL.

Now THAT would get ppls attention. And if that isn’t the GOP’s death knell, I don’t know what would be.

Or Catholic enough.

Gregorian chants: nice beat but ya can’t dance to ‘em.

I’m a dog person, but well done and well said.

Using religion for power involves manipulating faith and institutions to legitimize authority, mobilize voters, or gain political control. It historically serves to consolidate power, erode democratic rights, and deepen societal divisions by aligning partisan goals with religious identity.

The true measure of a man isn’t whether he’ll remove that big spider from your bathroom.

It’s whether he’s able to remove that mole problem turning your lawn to shit.

Having a congressman/senator tell Russell Voght “that’s laughable” is one thing.

Telling Voght “that’s laughable, you lying piece of Trumpsucking jizz” would be even better.

We all know whoever in trump’s cabinet comes out with the book first after he’s dead is gonna be the best-selling author in all of recorded human history .

Heres’s the crazy. I’m a dad who has always been sorry/ apologized to the spirits/God that I wasnt the best person. Not the best husband, because my ex’s divorce lawyer and her already established that.

But my kids say I was a pretty good dad/person. Thats what to hold onto when you don’t think so

I’m a dad. I had to stop listening barely halfway thru this.

Wow. I didn’t know that. Maybe that was an impetus to her performance in Monster’. It mighta been mine if it was me.

Toss in some really good vodka in the gift bag and there ya go perfect!

Bad target

I don’t care if it does kinda look like pussy. I’m not gonna eat bok choi.

I cannot touch bok choi simply because the dyslexic in
me makes methink “chopped boy”.

And made the total most awesomest killer on ‘Criminal Minds’

“Nuke sunset” - old ppl in Nagasaki n Hiroshima