Con is right

And if the SAVE act passes, it'll be easier for some people to buy a gun than for others to vote

Only just realized Bank of America's initials are the word "boa," which, holy shit, makes perfect fucking sense

You know what's weird? Trump was right when he said if I vote for Harris, the US would go to war. Well, I voted for her and here we are

Imagine if a TV show parodied Trump by just making him act completely normal and unproblematic, with strong values and good policies.

He would lose his fucking mind if he saw that

Annoyed by ads for the new Marathon game "from the creators of Halo."

NO.

Halo came from the creators of MARATHON. Marathon was the progenitor at Bungie. Master Chief wishes he was the security officer from Marathon. Cortana wishes she was Durandal.

Your Marathon is not the same as my Marathon.

Just got a second subscriber to my YouTube "channel" that has never had a single video posted. Like do they know something I don't?

When I was growing up Starz was the channel that had the absolute newest movies after they'd left theaters. They had stuff even before HBO. When did it become...what it is?

Looking back at some of my flash fiction submissions, and I see that three lit mags that I sent a specific combination of four flash pieces are all now defunct. So, if anyone has a grudge against a publication, let me know, because I apparently have a scythe in my "completed" folder

Played spades with a guy in the Army and called him a cheater. He threatened to knock my teeth out and told me to go learn how to play.

I've since played literally thousands of hands of spades against IRL players, online opponents, or computers. And I can say now:

He definitely fucking cheated

Same exact energy

youtu.be/2Omv47xvOKE?...

I know it has no relation, but I get incredibly strong Calvin and Hobbes vibes from this, like the actual illustration style

two men in suits and ties are standing next to each other in front of a window . ALT: two men in suits and ties are standing next to each other in front of a window .

Me and my friends at 15: If you're talented and famous, you'll probably die at 27

Me, still breathing at 45:

Soooooo, my A1C six months later is 5.4. And anything under 5.6 is "normal." So I was absolutely diabetic, but now I'm...not?

Why do I feel like I'm being punked

More and more, i'm convinced reality is a simulation. Ever heard of the movie Steel Dawn with Patrick Swayze? Yeah, NO ONE has but me. And it popped in my head a whole back, making me think about trying to find it once a week or so. Well I just signed up for Starz, and guess what is on there? Yeah.

Just played the funniest round of spades. My partner and I both bid nil, and our opponents bid 10 between them, with 8 sandbags already in their pocket. I hit my nil, but my partner took a trick. And the opponents took two sandbags, so everyone just ended up scoring zero

Imperial officer: "Your sad devotion to that ancient religion--"

Vader: "Motherfucker, the Jedi were in partial control of the whole galaxy TWENTY YEARS AGO. You're like 40? So the people practicing this 'ancient religion' were still around for literally HALF YOUR LIFE."

I hate the phrase "encouragement sandwich" and other phrases using "_____ sandwich" in the same way, because they all treat the _____ as the bread, when a real sandwich is about what's in the middle. You don't call a piece of baloney between two pieces of bread a bread sandwich, do you?

Oh, so the rapture is supposed to happen today, I guess? Honestly, I hope it does. Maybe some really annoying people could get sucked up into the sky

What is you don't HAVE to say it, but you say it anyway?

Andy Dwyer from Parks and Recreation saying "I don't know what 'rich' means when it comes to food and at this point I'm too afraid to ask"

It me

No, just no. Bad AI! Very bad AI!

He looks like a brown Tim Robinson with less humorous attributes

I loved the little production design details, like the Weyland Yutani beer cans that I just never noticed on the small screen. They never say the name of "the company" out loud in the first movie, but it was already there

I swear Michael Keaton says it like that in Mr. Mom

At least when it inevitably changes back in three years, we'll still have all the old stuff in storage

Joseph McNeil was one of four students who staged a sit-in at a segregated Woolworth’s lunch counter in Greensboro, North Carolina, in 1960. They ignited one of the U.S. most consequential student protest movements. From left, Joseph McNeil, Franklin McCain, Billy Smith and Clarence Henderson.

If you see this, QTP with a title screen that's iconic to you!