Happy International Cuckoo Day! In English a mismatched pair could be described as being “like chalk and cheese.” An Estonian equivalent is nagu siga ja kägu, which means “like a pig and a cuckoo.”

If you like Lonesome Dove I think you'd love Days Without End (possibly my favourite ever novel)

CUCKOO 1: I heard you finally found work
CUCKOO 2: Yeah I got a job in a cuckoo clock
CUCKOO 1: How are you finding it?
CUCKOO 2: Pretty boring, but it gets me out of the house

I'm all about fitness.

...

...

... FITNESS OREO IN MY MOUTH, HEY-OOOOOOOOOOOO

Today is National Exercise Day so here’s a list of my ten favourite exercises…

1. Jogging my memory
2. Skipping a workout
3. Surfing the net
4. Jumping to conclusions
5. Skating on thin ice
6. Pushing my luck
7. Running my mouth
8. Kicking up a fuss
9. Catching forty winks
10. Throwing in the towel

Tom Weights

Washington Black by Esi Edugyan

One of my favourite novels! Have you read Days Without End by Sebastian Barry?

To be fair it's a very UK-centric one (Ant and Dec are two TV presenters here)

* bonus info... my dad was Ant and Dec's drama teacher when they were younger

Honourable mentions to Audrey Heptathlon, Sean Pentathlon, and Ant and Decathlon

I also try to avoid dancing with death and swimming with the fishes

On a related note, here’s a list of ten sporty celebrities…

1. Tennis Quaid
2. Sarah Jessica Parkour
3. Alicia Skis
4. Salma Kayak
5. Humphrey Gocart
6. Keeper Sutherland
7. Hat-trick Swayze
8. Sprints William
9. Mick Jogger
10. Robert Touchdowney Jr.

Speaking of riding, I also enjoy pony riding, though snobs often dismiss it as not a proper sport (I guess some folk just like getting on their high horse).

Today is National Exercise Day so here’s a list of my ten favourite exercises…

1. Jogging my memory
2. Skipping a workout
3. Surfing the net
4. Jumping to conclusions
5. Skating on thin ice
6. Pushing my luck
7. Running my mouth
8. Kicking up a fuss
9. Catching forty winks
10. Throwing in the towel

Happy Day, too, of
the poetic form Tanka
to you and you and
all those who need a little
more space to finish a thought.

Happy Day of the
poetic form called Haiku
to you and you and –

Decades ago I hit a jogger in my car on the way to an interview. A dilemma: Not be late for the interview Or stop to help the jogger? I decided getting a job was more important. With career success I could help hundreds of joggers. Guess who was interviewing me when I showed up? It was the jogger. He told me what happened and asked "what would you do if you were driving the car?" I said "screw the interview, I'd help the jogger." He hired me on the spot. Always tell the interviewer what they want to hear.

The jogger

Mr. Sharp says that
Today is Haiku Day. Now
Let's put this to bed.

Happy Day of the
poetic form called Haiku
to you and you and –

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Hike.

Hike who?

solitary cow
standing atop a mountain
longs for home – Dundee

A SHORT CROSS-LINGUISTIC POEM ABOUT FOOD…

An English cheese is good
But a Dutch cheese is gouda

An English sausage is bad
But a German sausage is the Wurst

An English egg leaves you hungry
But a French egg is un œuf

In English you fancy some bread
But in Spanish you’re pan sexual

For context I should add that he’s not his real father and he’s also a virgin (has never even given head)

Happy Praying Mantis Appreciation Day, to all who celebrate…

CHILD PRAYING MANTIS: Dad, who are we all praying to exactly?
DAD PRAYING MANTIS: Depends which religion you belong to
CHILD: So not all people follow the same religion?
DAD: No, son… we’re in sects

Praying mantis / rice-pounding grasshopper pointing at something (that may or may not be a mob of Mexicans)

The Thai word for a praying mantis, ตั๊กแตนตำข้าว, means "rice-pounding grasshopper." And the Navajo word, naakaii náásééł, means "Mexicans are coming as a mob." This may come from an old belief that if you ask a praying mantis where the Mexicans are coming from, it will point in the correct direction.

Post from Twitter (sorry) that reads as follows… News from the happiest country in the world 🇫🇮 😐: Jason Segel tried making friendly small talk in a Finnish grocery store—locals got suspicious, and a security guard intervened assuming he was intoxicated.

Last post in this thread (I promise I’m now well and truly finnished)

In 2008 The Committee for Mammal Names proposed changing the name to 'tikutaku'. Chip 'n' Dale - probably the world's best-known chipmunks - are called Tiku and Taku in Finnish. However, Institute for the Languages of Finland rejected the proposal.

A colloquial Finnish word for the wispy moustache that teenagers often have is amispensselit, which means “vocational school paintbrush”

It's more like "goat of the sky", or if you want to wax more poetic, "heaven's goat" (since "taivas" means both the concrete blue sky, and the more esoterically-loaded heaven).