0% energy for everything.

I solve 55% of my problems by just going to bed.

I'm supposed to be doing work but I'm too busy procrastinating.

Let's take a nap about it

Wanting to do things and not wanting to do things in equal amounts

10+ years of tracking biometric data has led me to the stunning insight that I feel better on days I don’t work

centering my entire personality around not having one

Panicking even though I'm on lots of anxiety meds is my villain origin story

It makes me nostalgic to see politicians retire in the face of sexual assault claims instead of running for President.

Sometimes I'll make a J&PB sandwich instead of a PB&J just to mix things up

Three panel comic. Panel 1: scene from the movie Aliens; Ripley is in a mech suit and delivers her iconic line: “get away from her, you bitch!” Panel 2: the xenomorph queen lunges at Ripley in the robotic suit and they engage in a fight. Panel 3: later, the xenomorph queen is standing in the shower, mid wash. She says, “‘it takes one to know one, honey.’ That’s what I should have said.”

Where do I throw in the towel and do I need to fold it first.

people with a great vocabulary and also use profanity are my kind of people

Water is just old rain that’s been through a lot

I’ll just migrate from my chair to my bed. That’s enough platform hopping for today.

If you didn't like that one, don't worry, there will be another one to like even less after that

there's a thin line between half-baked

what a terrible time to not be a terrible person

As someone who doesn't want children the only thing that could change my mind is if a weird guy on the internet told me I should

I’m not depressed because I’m lying in bed. I’m lying in bed because it’s the most comfortable place to be depressed.

After a certain point it just makes more economic sense to be lonely than pursue the years of therapy it would require to make you palatable

I would hate to meet a various versions of myself across the multiverse because what if I’m the one that sucks?

70% of my day is convincing myself not to give up on everything

Sometimes slience is the louder response.

You aren’t special I disappoint everyone

That little piece of love I have left? It's for me

You gotta fight for your right to sit quietly doing nothing

- Are you upset about something?

Yes, I’m awake.

Cardio exercise is important to do so you can identify what dying feels like