Captain Planet

By the power vested in me… I am Captain Planet!

Linda Richman: I’m getting a little verklempt… talk amongst yourselves… I’ll give you a topic… Kid Rock neither a kid nor does he rock

I love reading about France. It’s my joie de livre.

Feeling kinda pooped… time to throw in the bowel

My local bagel shop just played two different versions of “I Gotta Feeling” back to back

Why do kids build couch forts when they could instead build ottoman empires?

Lawyers: do you wear legal briefs or illegal boxers?

Lady Gaga: who were those guys?
Me: Dan Rather, Dan Savage, Dan Carlin…
Lady Gaga: JUST DANS!

Why rent a desk to do wee work, when you can stay home and do big work

A screenshot from Squid Game, with Dennis Quaid poorly photoshopped over the main character.

squaid game

a Frenchman bumped into me, blew a kiss and said, “excusez mwah” 😘

Did you hear that Frosty has been doing crunches?

He’s now the abdominal snowman.