STUPID american FLASHBANGED by hotel with zero-indexed floor numbers despite having graduated with DEGREE in CS

International Toast of Mystery... 🇬🇧🐐❓📵 (NO CELL SERVICE WHATSOEVER)

omg good eye! it's a great blanket, but i often wonder if it couldn't be heavier 🤔 i hope u acquire ur boy soon!!!

primordial even...

260326: a sketchy growth sequence in which 🐐 kron gets stretched out very long & tall

📰 WEIRD: local pervert becomes mythical serpent 🐐📈👀

i then proceeded to finish up the rest of the game + the dlc over the past 2 weeks, culminating in my over-levelled ass smashing the shit out of the final boss with my fully upgraded Large Club... 🥥🔨🥴✨

conclusion: it's good;
corollary: will be replaying elden ring

as they should!

HEARTWARMING: he raises his arms slightly... what happens next will amaze you!

TRAGIC: fat guy wearing shirt precisely sized to mitigate belly peek

just sitting here with my fingers fully off of my phone screen, watching in utter disbelief as it opens and closes entirely on its own for over a full minute until i get bored and close the app. this is advanced slop.

"the left on this app is too sensitive," i say to myself as the left sidebar UI panel opens while i'm just scrolling normally with no discernable horizontal motion

"the left is constantly triggered for some reason," i say as the side panel opens and closes itself repeatedly with no input whatsoever

drinking ur whole six pack (glitchless 100%)

make u nut (Any%) [WR]

thinking about henrik having surprising speedrunning capabilities 🎮🐀🍺

260304: 🐀 henrik at various stages of undress -- work polo & jeans, tank top & boxers, and None & briefs. he is visibly happier in just his underwear...

henrik rat design pass 2026 feat. enhanced snout & 👀 eyes

man,

Find My 1,000,000,000,000 Toastbug Eggs
🥚🐜

hmmm, mysterious... give pc a quick dunk in swimming pool to cool off & maybe it will work again

"bluesky is made with AI" we can tell ❤️

[meanwhile in the painted world] "this is a peaceful land, its inhabitants kind" respectfully ma'am, there are impaled corpses on pikes all over the place and u got bone wheels in ur cellar. not normal.

climbing the anor londo cathedral stairs with the 2 guards at the door: "well well well if it isn't the blowjob brothers"

sprinting past the 2 huge guys inside the cathedral: "well well well if it isn't the blowjob brothers"

entering the fog gate: "well well well if it isn't the blowjob brothers"

[cd-i mario voice] you know what they say..!!

we have scapey toast but like, not evil, and we have 🧛‍♂️😈 EVIL-A SCAPEY TOAST 😈🧛‍♂️

tricked into walking this back bc i put on some good music, had a glass of wine, played for a few more hours, and was able to achieve a Vibe

first impression was hampered by a very weak starting kit + poor telegraphing of hazards. upgrading enough to one-shot weak enemies is the key to the Fun

i feel a form of physical pain every time i fuck up a jump attack input and have to sit back and watch my guy do the slow-ass two-handed Large Club R2 anim at the worst possible moments

having my own music playing in the background also did a lot to offset the frankly dreadful atmosphere & foster a semblance of Fun after all... i am prepared to update my opinion from Distaste to Neutral, but it took a bit more effort than i would have preferred!!

i still find it highly questionable how you just sort of invisibly and silently start to take damage when in line of sight of certain enemy types. it's baffling how a basic interaction like this could be communicated so poorly when so much tutorial and "hint" text is dumped on you right off the bat

i put in a few more hours and i'm willing to admit my initial assessments were maybe a bit too kneejerk.

the maze critique def still holds, since it's a slog even when you use markers, but the combat becomes tolerable once you upgrade weapons enough to take advantage of their secondary effects

did a big pass to finish up darkroot, start poking around the demon ruins, and get thru the catacombs, but i didn't go deeper into the tomb bc i never got the lantern... that one big knight walked all the way over to jumpscare / corner me before i picked it up 💀 i have now entered anor londo proper

see i thought i'd vibe, but aside from the mechanical uniqueness of the exploration, the execution is bland & repetitive (searching areas for the next point of interest / featureless maze to generate) AND constantly interrupted by dull combat... i'll give it some more time but my outlook is grim!!