This is like the day I found out they didn’t actually want you honk if you liked pizza.

Winston level prank.

Signature slowly morphing to only m’s; fine motor skills are hard for dear leader!

Chris Angel moving oil with his brain across the straits of hormuz

Those are raw potatoes, and they should feel bad.

You know you’re a 90s kid if you remember when the U.S. government would at least make up a fake reason to attack the Middle East

You’re totally right *and* I’m mad I had to read that sentence twice.

no one cares about the early bird now that we all worm from home

’Twould be too tedious to repeat

Happy Honda days to you and yours!

Nice bed.

It is in hell. Our course hammered on helping dad feel more confident; like I’ve also never had a baby, I want someone gassing me up too.

It's Toddlers in Tiara's but Grownups in Glitter.

Ely and his fucking fish, never let me down, unlike my brain that can’t spell but can remember every song lyric ever. I’ve got that going for me, which is nice!

Your friend Ely brought you a fish, “Defin it Ely.” you command!

Get in losers, we’re stealing the fake real resolute desk.

Been sober for 10 years now; it has to be *this* 10 years!?

TikTok video by Caroline Timoney

Nothing to do with her,
It was a viral tik tok sound www.tiktok.com/@carol.ine3/...

I have seen no better theory.

The mix of wrapped and raw is diabolical.

if you see me floating up into the sky today it's for other reasons don't worry about it

Ellipsis.

Oh, well here I was hoping I might have a chance with this game after I utterly failed at making any progress in Hollow Knight.

The "Domestic violence heroics to severe rear ending" statement has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the statement.

I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?

The price of 1 lb of ground beef is now higher than the federal minimum hourly wage…

Beads?

This is so traumatic.