ngl one time I bought a thing of cake frosting and ate it like a pint of ice cream over the span of several days

The Dunkin croissant breakfast sandwich is not the best fast food breakfast sandwich but it is an underrated one

u are excused

Thanks? lol

DAAAMN DoorDash™ Grandma, turn around and pull those butt cheeks open. I’m tryin’ to see somethin’ 👀💦

Beads??

I saw a picture of the 2006 Coachella schedule on one of the socials this week and saw that Daft Punk were on at the same time as She Wants Revenge. Barring the fact that Daft Punk wound up running late, imagine being somebody who went and saw SWR instead of Daft Punk

A simple cleansing with fire should do the trick

Gob’s not on board

Singing bees??

what if Yogi Bear but he fucked

I will always and forever be a Floridian in my heart but the high here in northeastern PA is gonna be in the upper 30s on Monday and I could not be happier. Chilly weather! In late April! I think I am a Cold Weather Person and I never knew it until recently.

Sitting in the “Jeopardy!” audience and yelling out the questions to the answers because this is America and this is how I do freedom

Well well well, if it isn’t the blowjob brothers (I came up with this)

lmao girly noooo, please don’t beat me to death with that wheel of cheese!! 😅😱 I would hate that!! 🤪🤪

Talk your shit, queen

One time I saw a girl sitting behind home plate on an MLB broadcast who was so pretty that I still think abt her from time to time, and this was years ago. It was like we spent an afternoon together. I’m not being weird, you’re being weird

lmao rekt ⛳️

Can’t speak to the latter but ya I ‘member getting sick on cigarettes one time in high school, it was so gross. Had to call my mom and have her pick me up from a show early. She thought I was fucked up on hard drugs and was so pissed at me lol

PrEPeroni. The peace of mind that comes with knowing you are protected from developing AIDS, now in a delicious processed pizza topping form. Is this anything. Did we like this one

I’d sure like to chew on HER milk hole! Respectfully ofc

Did my little man just eat a booger

I’m going to lift up your shirt and blow raspberries on your tummy until you shit your pants

This pizza has done nothing wrong

🤯🤯🤯

The small northeastern PA borough (it’s like, what if a city was a city, except they called it a borough) I moved to last year has a vacant seat on its borough council up for offer. I’m thinking of writing and submitting an incredibly stupid letter of intent, just to see what happens

breakfast hot dog

Did somebody say “breakfast hot dog”?

lmao also TIL that nothing improves the appearance of a Fiat Multipla more than parking it next to a Cybertruck

The owner of this thing has got to have a humiliation fetish and idk how I feel about being party to it

Nah this is hittin’, I want some