If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is fantastic. Never want to watch it again.

A multicoloured ballpoint sketch of Noel Edmonds being tenderly embraced by Mr Blobby.

Just realised I have free will and I can draw whatever I want.

A sketch in progress of Noel Edmonds embracing his lover, Mr Blobby

❤️🏳️‍🌈❤️🏳️‍🌈❤️🏳️‍🌈❤️

David Howard Thornton on Instagram: "She said YES!!! @lapetitejada" 107K likes, 5,097 comments - davidhowardthornton on April 18, 2026: "She said YES!!! @lapetitejada".

(congrats to the happy couple!) www.instagram.com/reels/DXSvVU...

David Howard Thornton in character as Art the Clown proposing to his girlfriend Jada Christie (she said yes!)

A meme is born.

Nature is healing: just saw there's a new gay adult film called "One B*tth*le After Another."

Mentally I'm already seated

Comparison images of an older man in a orange beanie surrounded by 7 Welsh police officers and Hannibal Lecter kneeling surrounded by 5 FBI officers

It took more officers to arrest Grandpa Joe than it took to arrest Hannibal Lecter in the TV show Hannibal.

Channel 4 Dispatches found 167 areas across England and Wales where the police had not identified a single suspect for neighbourhood crimes between 2021 and 2023. All but one of them were in the Met’s area, in London. In one small area around Oxford Circus and Regent Street there were more than 10,000 thefts from a person over the last three years with more than 99 per cent of them going unsolved, data analysis by Crest Advisory revealed. One phone snatcher told the show: “I don’t give a f*** about what the police are doing, innit. I don’t care. I ain’t been nicked for it, yeah? And I ain’t going to get nicked. That’s how I look at it.” Source: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/met-police-neighbourhood-crime-dispatches-b2580025.html

“Filmmaking has always been driven by technology,” Aronofsky said in a statement. “After the Lumiere brothers and Edison’s ground-breaking invention, filmmakers unleashed the hidden storytelling power of cameras. Later technological breakthroughs — sound, color, VFX — allowed us to tell stories in ways that couldn’t be told before. Today is no different. Now is the moment to explore these new tools and shape them for the future of storytelling.”

Remember when Darren Aronofsky said this and then was apparently so embarrassed by his studio's AI webseries that he didn't even provide a generic quote for the launch press release and has yet to publicly acknowledge it at all.

RIP Gregor, the cat who insisted on scritchies at all times ❤️

"Our trial ended today and our sales lead replied 'heartbroken'"

Went to the company's website and one of their testimonials is a guy saying, "yeah we cancelled it after the free trial."

Thanking God today that my nephew Miles is with us for Easter today. His wound is still oozing blood but he’s alive & we’re thankful. The knifemen who stabbed him are still roaming around London. Perhaps around your loved ones. Happy Easter xx

Preparing for Easter by reflecting on the Elizabeth Hurley tweet

According to a source in the Deadline article, the other actor (JC Kilcoyne) needed stitches "all over his hands" from the broken glass.

“Historical analyses show..."

Wowww, they really went with "well we didn't used to treat this in ye olden days so we shouldn't treat it now."

Why don't we do away with glasses too, since myopia used to be considered a "normal variation" in eyesight.

More recently, Wessely suggested that a group of people who suddenly became ill at Heathrow airport were suffering from "mass sociogenic illness."

Turned out someone had dropped a canister of tear gas and they were suffering the effects of tear gas.

Our reactions to the anthrax episode cannot be seen in isolation, or without reference to our general views of health, illness and risk. Similarly, the emergence of ‘World Trade Syndrome’, a vague collection of symptoms among the residents of Lower Manhattan, blamed on various ‘toxins’ released after the collapse of the Twin Towers, only makes sense in the context of a seemingly endless list of other mysterious symptoms and syndromes that are blamed on similar toxic disasters. Source: https://www.spiked-online.com/2002/05/23/world-trade-centre-syndrome/

Oh, it's even worse! This article is about the review that was ordered by Wes Streeting because he didn't like the last review's findings.

One of the "experts" Streeting recruited is Simon Wessely, who once claimed that people who got sick from the 9/11 dust clouds were just being hysterical.

Whenever they do one of these articles it’s always one of the same three or four “experts” being quoted.

(Also they’re not necessarily experts in the field being discussed.)

A silhouette of a woman with a lopsided haircut

Sian Clifford as Claire in Fleabag, with a lopsided haircut

I just won 800 points on the Octopus Energy wheel of fortune. Bow before me, mortals.

tbh this whole graph is an accurate reflection of my personal health

AI slop showing hands tearing a pile of newspapers apart in a physically improbably way

AI slop of a bar chart labeled HEALTH where the bars are blurring together

The Wrap's AI art features the latest HEALTH stats

So that's two appointments that I didn't actually want, one of which was completely pointless. But hey, at least the government got to brag about 5 million extra NHS appointments.

I'm on a regular medication that requires blood pressure checks every 6 months, which I've always just done at home. But around the same time, the GP randomly insisted that I make an appointment to come in and have a nurse check my blood pressure.

After Labour pledged to deliver more appointments, my GP called me up out of the blue and was weirdly aggressive about booking me in for a cervical smear. Which makes sense if there was a non-specific "appointments" quota introduced. A smear only takes a few minutes and can be done by a nurse.

Screenshot of Times piece with headline "Millions to be denied hospital referrals in drive to cut waiting lists."

🧵/ The NHS is about to undergo one of the most radical – and scandalous - changes in its history.

From 1st April (the public are the fools in this), GPs will be contractually obliged to seek remote “advice & guidance” from hospital clinicians, making it even harder to see an NHS specialist.

(the bus driver lost the stare-off and was like "whatever, just get on.")

a man with a beard is wearing a fur coat on a stage . Alt: Stare-off

Bus travel is free for under-5s where I live. I recently saw a woman get on the bus with her obviously 10-year-old son and tell the bus driver "he's 4."