Doctor: What brings you in today. it's not teeth is it?
Me: No
Doctor: Okay. Good. I don't touch teeth. Different guy.
Me: It's eyes.
Doctor: Nope that's a different guy too

ADOBE: welcome to photoshop. what would you like to do. here is an AI tool
ME: i would like to draw a rectangle. i am selecting the rectangle tool
ADOBE: did you say AI?
ME: rectangle please
ADOBE: sorry but i can only do that in an insane way now. here is a new layer and a vector for some reason

What’s your take on Pieminister? I like it but their portions have gotten smaller. Mothership my arse!

I mean at this point just crank all the sarcophagi open. Unless it’s the one from Lee Cronin’s The Mummy. She needs to stay buried due to being extremely mid.

Just furious that all men aren’t dying from being in love with me tbqhwy.

Every day I look forward to sleeping I love sleeping I love being unconscious

how did silent bobs parents know he wouldn’t wanna talk when they named him?

Due to rising costs, Aardvark will be spelled with one A going forward.

“I am approaching you with romantic intent.” Hank Hill Meme.

If people are not approaching me like this—I will not know.

If anyone wants to fuck me while I cry… do get in touch (not you).

Fucked off that no-one is madly in love with me so I’ve booked to go to my favourite restaurant on my own on Saturday. Fuck it.

Apple Backs Up Tim Cook’s Memories To Port Over Into Next CEO

Apple Backs Up Tim Cook’s Memories To Port Over Into Next CEO

A single very brainy morel mushroom pushes away a dried oak leaf to rise into the early spring air. All photos by me

Here is a nice mushroom

I will seduce you through the ancient art of hating what you hate.

Guys, guys, guys. JFC, everything sucks.

Was the Michael Jackson film made by AI?

the word "tranche" is AI slop to me; yes, even if it's being said out loud by a real human, because when I hear it, I immediately suspect that whatever is being said has been pasted together from other sources and is likely to be factually incorrect

french tumblr post anonymous: "why is bread masculine but Baguette is feminine....... is the baguette transgender?" translatingpostsingrench: "i will let the community decide: baguette, a trans icon?" yes: 94.6% no: 5.4%

I'm still eternally thinking about this

Sorry i texted back so quickly! My phone was just in my hand. And also i want you

Cute lil Anaïs sketch

I hope all the artists at Coachella found it fulfilling to give their all performing to a sea of iPhones

Never felt more grown up than getting a text from Screwfix to confirm my order is in 💅🏻

Asked my therapist if I could read his notes from our last session and it was just a drawing of my face with a line through it

This Is Just To Say

I have turned off
the AI features
that were in
the update

and which
you were probably
hoping
to monetize

Fuck you
they were stupid
so unnecessary
and so annoying

Orange fluffy cat inside my car.

I have to go to work and this is not my cat.

Skinamarink.

2 hours of out of focus, out of frame, unlit nothing with sound that was recorded on a wax cylinder.

I’ve heard all the arguments for it and I know everyone has their own opinions but anyone that defends that movie is objectively wrong.

Not the maddest, but I stopped watching “In a Violent Nature” at the hour mark. It had been alternating extended sequences of walking and sudden moments of shockingly nihilistic violence, and I wasn’t gleaning any insight from either mode, and I was getting more and more frustrated.

Recent one but I am furious about Lee Cronin's The Mummy... Terrible ending and there wasn't even a mummy?!

Worst part of apartment living is the noise. I have to share in everybody else's noise. I know when you shower, cook or watch TV. Silencio!

New research has revealed there is just one public toilet for every 15,481 people in England. No pun. Just depressing stat.