Archival footage of how we did this in 2016. I would have LOVED a proper playground.

Keeping select sweatshirts out during the seasonal clothing switch because they’d be “good for the cabin” even though our friend with the cabin moved away like 5 years ago 😭😭😭

Screenshot of a Park Nicollet/Health Partners bill for $2,062. I “have insurance” btw and it costs like $900 a month.

no this is cool, greatest country in the world etc etc

I don’t know how many times I have to learn the lesson that I can’t afford Health Partners. ”Oh we’re referring you for an ultrasound and we can get you in today!” Girl no. I have to shop around for a back alley ultrasound. I need a doctor working out of a camper van. Thanks tho.

Another day, another round of "Am I filled with incandescent rage because of perimenopause or because of the increasing inequity and inhumanity of society"

A product shot of two big glasses on stems filled with a pink icy drink. Plates with little snackies sit on top of the glasses and the drink straw goes through the center of the plate. The glasses are on a rattan table next to a blue pool with palm trees in the background. I want to go to there.

Would this fix me. The glass/plate thingy I mean. The pool would fix me no question.

I was handcuffed/charged with jaywalking (didn’t) holding a large camera taking a photo of street outside this McDonald’s.

While detained, MPD ignored multiple burglary calls. I had to take it all the way to trial where they tried to shake me down for a plea before dismissing 1 min before trial.

Last year my husband and I had dinner at The Melting Pot (for the bit) before a show. When the server brought our check he urged us to "be safe downtown." Like sir, we are locals? And why would you spread fear about the neighborhood where YOU work for tips?

JD playing the long game and trying to win MN in 2028 by soft-launching a Lutheran conversion. He will 110% fuck it up and join Wisconsin Synod instead of ELCA.

Tennis elbow update: last week I put a private hourly reminder on my work calendar that says "stretch you fucking idiot" so naturally IT had to remote into my computer today to deal with an unrelated calendar issue

Harridan Boogaloo

the Melania beluga whale "What is she thinking?" twitter post

Good news, my new therapist brings a dog to the office. She made me* take Bluesky off my phone but there was a dog there when she said that.

*gently suggested

just kinda realizing trump declared a ceasefire the same way michael scott declared bankruptcy

A compliment to your writing: my middle school son is a great reader, though not necessarily passionate about it. He read this whole piece last night.

Screenshot of MSP Business Journal with red “BREAKING” banner at the top: How much does it cost to join a Twin Cities country club?

Like yes I do want to know the answer to this question for bitchy purposes but could the Biz Journal perhaps read the room re: BREAKING NEWS today. Were they gonna get scooped or something?

That campaign was the reason I became an advertising major 😭 and also a lifelong Nick Drake fan. I walked down the aisle to Northern Sky.

Volkswagen used “Pink Moon” in its Drivers Wanted campaign in the 90s and I only learned the name of the song from an “as heard in the Volkswagen commercial” ad in Rolling Stone.

I saw her speak at Confab in… 2011 maybe? And that conference changed my career and her talk was dynamite.

No; stolen valor.

We do not need ways to make writing easier so there's more of it.

We need ways to make writing harder so there's less of it.

Every wish that comes true in your 40s is some monkey’s paw bullshit

Target leans into red shirts and khakis as it tries to elevate shopping experience The Minneapolis-based retailer has updated employee policies as shoppers complain of longer lines and declining service, while also raising questions about the impact of such changes.

Michael Fiddelke, surveying the damage of a long-eroding checkout experience, always shitty stocking practices, and the brand having set its own reputation on fire in service to a fascist:

“Shirts should be redder.”

You wasn’t devastated when you was flying around America kidnapping people with your boyfriend

I am really at a loss. I like all of these things independently. HOWEVER.

Oh yeesh, thank you for naming them

It's spring break but I'm working; I told my son when I left this morning, "Don't have too much fun without me," and he said, "We're going to a dahlia farm and then a very quiet place."

The alt text 😂

I took a pic with that guy when I went to small claims court in 2013, wearing my most responsible outfit

What is Palm Sunday? Palm Sunday commemorates when Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey the week leading up to his crucifixion and death.

My kid asked what Palm Sunday is and I couldn’t remember so I googled it, and this is one of those “at no point can you predict what’s coming next” sentences