Once every couple years, my friend @indextwo.net and I trot out a little duet we did back in… 2014, I think? All editing and arranging done by Lawrie. I just showed up in the box. 🎄🍸☃️

Ughhhh 😖 If it helps, ibuprofen works symbiotically with acetaminophen (Tylenol); and caffeine works symbiotically with both, and they all boost each other up. Headaches need to go fake a flying leap.

I mean, Fantastic Beasts was cancelled on a cliffhanger despite a huge cast. Because JKR has made the brand toxic. This is a money-grab to control the medium because she can’t control the original actors - all of who denounced her anti-trans stance.

So… any bets on how long this will last? 👀

Just found out an actor I quite like is in the new HP⚡️ show on MAX… which is a shame. But let’s talk about the logistics.

They’re locked in for 7 seasons MINIMUM. The 5th book is almost 3.5 times longer than the 1st, so will they stick to 1 book per season? Any chance this won’t be cancelled?

Me as an action figure in a clear plastic pack with a card backing. It shows me as a mini figure with salt & pepper hair, wearing a cream coloured sweater, blue jeans and white sneakers. My action figure comes with a red mug (for tea); my phone, and a bottle of pills. The original price was $29.99, but it had been marked down to 20 cents. It comes with a "real-feel mouth", plus: 5 snark caplets, 'says "fuck" all day long', and 'headaches. Anxiety, shoulder pain

A selfie of me in a cream-coloured sweater with the sleeves rolled up. I am a white man with salt and pepper hair, a slightly arched eyebrow, and a slight smirk.

Jumping on that action-figure trend, but zero AI. This is actually a vector that I drew (in Flash!) because I am hardcore. Particularly proud of my hair (modelled from accompanying picture); and unfortunately, this is actually a trace of the shape of my nose 🤥 #starterpack

Classic.

Will always upvote this sequel name. Personally feel there should be a law requiring all sequels to be so named. It improves the lives of everyone.

this is just… 🤯

🧪🐢💙❤️💜🧡🍕🗽

A selfie of me, a white man with salt & pepper hair, wearing a loose-fit white sweater and a black band around my wrist. I have one arm across my body, cupping the side of my neck, and I am - as another friend put it - ‘smizing’ at the camera 😏

As my friend put it: feeling my oats today.

Imagine you text your dealer like “hey man got any coke 👀” and they respond with “no is Pepsi okay”

The ELI5 way my brain works is: ‘was’ is reality. ‘Were’ is a wish.

‘“If only you were a horse,” he mused.’

‘The problem was, she WAS a horse.’

It feels like it’s unnecessary. Designed only for misery. The foam roller is a psyop.

If you heard the noises I just made using a foam roller on my IT band, you would be calling an ambulance / subscribing to my OF

Screenshot of my Facebook profile, showing my header image: a dirty sign half-submerged in a swamp that reads ‘BUT HER EMAILS’

It finally happened! My FB header image is relevant again! 🙏🏻

lol I just remembered, apropos of absolutely nothing, that Ocean Colour Scene once existed. jfc

Dooooo eeeeeet!

I absolutely love this kind of text effect 🤩

I only just noticed that 🙄 it pasted absolutely fine. I really wish they’d fix this. tl;dr: Tesla asplode 🚘💥

Security camera footage of a Tesla parked in a garage and spontaneously exploding

Wow this conversation blew up! Almost like…

Screenshot of the Squardle global leaderboard for today’s puzzle, showing me in 94th place in the world. IN THE WORLD.

94th in the world for speed. SPEEEEED! What no YOU should be working because of deadlines

I think there’s been one (1) entire day since Christmas when I haven’t had a headache. I am single-handedly keeping Panadol afloat right now 🤕

People who ‘skip intro’ on Bob’s Burgers have no soul and will crumble to dust when the end comes.

MOANA 2: MOAN-HARDER

I just want to go back in time to find the person who was like “oh, hey, we can replace literally everything with JavaScript! 🤩” and lock them in a closet for a few hours or years.

I *hhhhhhate* cringe comedy. Absolutely loathe it. The second-hand embarrassment is like chewing on tinfoil 😖

My current website could technically leave school and start collecting benefits.

‘Hard stop’ is undeniable. It is irrefutable. Because hard.

100% this. I’ve used it in exactly this way, to help me work something out. But even then, it usually just triggers something in my brain and I’m like “uh, hold on - doesn’t THIS way make more sense?” - followed up by the blissful idiot-robot response “yes, of course!”, like it knew all along 🫠