a man wearing a hat looks out a window ALT: a man wearing a hat looks out a window

Annoyed my wife so much with my Jurassic Park III ringing phone impression that I've been formally asked to stop

I'm the first person to claim a free coffee on my local café's new loyalty scheme. Not sure whether I should be proud of that achievement

Ruined already

Please, no one else follow me

The Twitter algorithm killed this sort of thing in my feed, I'm so glad I've got your nonsense back