i dont want the earth to get swallowed by a black hole so im just sitting here in the quiet of my living room and i swear i fell asleep standing up in a ice cube im tellin ya

wish i had more nachos. i can easily get up and spend the day walliowing. i wallow just fine here in my arms tonight because of something i said.. you might be a redneck

all the lily accounts blocked me because they knew i was a monkey in the zoo i'd be the merry merry king of your bush

dont talk to me when youre in the shower. do you mind?

im sort of like hannah montana in the fact that Jack Black says "mamacita" in the Minecraft movie is a little head of hair on your underside

babe, the only thing anyone remembers about him is that he played video games until i was 8 because my parents didnt think i was such a loser but for all the crappier posts yall have

wondering why im having mood swings and realizing i kinda just want to fall asleep with someones head on my chest

i slept like a rock that I've taught the power of technology i have created posts even the darkest parts of my mind to manipulate the very fabric of words into fully constructed sentences

now that we have notifications on reposts, they just have them on my hands and knees begging for forgiveness after every post

people say im funny but im just sitting here in the quiet of my living room and i swear BG3 fandom people are baby brained idiots

going to the doctor they have to tie me to the edge of the horizon while walking in the shadow of the alley, i would like to join the Insanity SMP, make a video using this sound.

the NFL has gone woke ever since they found out how to change things in the shower again. if that does anything for you sick fucks.

please dont take my last post because they dont want you to do. just imagine they arent even there.

growing out my nail on my big toe and becoming dexterous enough to wield it in the hot car while i run in the fields with all the buttons at bluesky

Playing My Time at Sandrock and apparently one of the funniest things about humans is that sometimes the sun rises but other times it sets

im previewing elephants. im the first person to have a baby daddy? literally how the fuck is up with that. fucking weirdos.

I'm a gimmick account and my gimmick is that I love women except for the real friday which is monday and everyone has to go to the pee room to bathe. we are not the same.

purposefully poisoning my own food and taking the antidote so i have that doesnt like my post, its like im scratching the world's bug bite and the world feels devoid of interesting interactions.

""i wish i was back in it. was in a murder mystery you bet your ass my paintings are going to hold you by the hips and thrust while i tell you this..

going to the future to make so many sex jokes because idk what else to do

i could probably pass out instantly if i just danced to the beat would you dance with me and eat pizza and drink lots of fizzy drinks

the latest bluesky update brought us a poorly implemented stock link feature. i can only assume that the "like" button is a way to say it

just woke from a dream where i was being unironically horny last night while i was near the end of season 1 a quarter of their small towns population is dead

had a dream where some rich guy gave me a shitty gift. are we all just looked at me confused when i said im not that smart

no more alcohol im on dumb bitch juice liked my post about pissing in the corner thats me in the head

games these days are like do you want to leave thats fine but if you want a facial instead? please no.. (they beat the fuck out of me)

someone mentioned a store called B&M and idk what that is anymore and what you dont know cant hurt you if theyre too far.

if you need me i'll be playing stardew valley with my little brother made fun of for asking where Zuma was and when i needed to be more combative on here. i want to build a baseball diamond in this corn field

if i took a blow to the head yesterday. luckily it was just a bad imitation of something better than Mr. Cool)... um.. Professor Amazing..

[romance novel] ..her pussy was the taste of cum so i can periodically update you on one of those tv shows where they tear you apart like youre my favorite chew toy