Fuck Schumer

We need more Luigi’s

Guys, there’s so much evil and absurdity that is demonstrably true, why waste time on unprovable conspiracy theories

You sound like maga

Nope. The corporations getting to double dip

Just another billionaire grift

Psychiatric evaluation?

He had a stroke. The man literally has brain damage

Proving the link between brain damage and conservatism

The man literally has brain damage

He’s doing valuable scientific work in proving the correlation between brain damage and conservatism

I’ll wait for the inevitable internet leak and analyses

Blood from a fuckin stone

We apparently weren’t hard enough on them after the civil war

We need some post WWII Germany level de-nazification

Sure she’s an immigrant, but she’s “one of the good ones” aka: white

Wear ever ewe sea a homonym, aisle bee their

The Venn diagram of The Onion and reality is basically just a circle already

I cannot wait to see what their next move is

Imagine the reaction if Biden had said that

I’m so tired of the sanewashing media

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Uh oh

Subtlety is an art form

Uh oh

It’s also absurd to think that a Republican Congress will enact any gun control measures, no matter how many babies got murdered

Have people forgotten that Trump ended a tweet with “Praise be to Allah”?

It was just like 2 weeks ago. Seems like a big deal.

Watch Drac ‘31 and Mummy ‘32 side by side, they’re the same movie

It’s the same beat in Dracula ‘31

Art is always about horniness

We should care if it’s getting people killed

Which it likely is

Okay pal. Have a good night.

So what? Because in one hand the president is besties with Putin, and Putin is providing intelligence that’s endangering the lives of American soldiers

Because the president is a psychopath

Dracula was ‘31, The Mummy was ‘32

But you’re right, they’re basically the same movie