why anything really. why now

we're building a voodoo doll of you and farting on it all night. Dont ever talk to my fucking family

my favourite part of tomodachi life is not owning a switch and paying zero dollars to nintendo billionaires because I'm just emulating it on my pc for free

we have to beat the mens wear guy with spiked baseball bats and throw acid in his eyes

start playin with their balls riot

Applying for a position at the slow and stupid store. fingers crossed

you failed the skill check. that means you're worthless and have to leave. never come back, i hate you.

Movie with low critic score high audience score released prior to 2018ish: Misunderstood gem

Movie with low critic score high audience score released after 2019: Uber goyslop zogsludge

bluesky needs a completely inept but irrevocably woke ai bot to combat grok. Call it wok, make it Chinese and woke.

inhaling shrek galaxy gas for my peepaw's bingo game tonight

there are maybe 10 statements that can be made and everything else is a remix of those 10 statements

for the record, i will be eating my cake. why would i have my cake and not indulge a little

yuno miles made a diss track about my goldfish and it made me cry

computer am i offputting or onputting

survey finds 100% of ppl who make surveys are sexy as fuck and awesome

Onion InfoWars product store showing "TURN YOUR GOLD INTO PISS" next to "TURN YOUR PISS INTO GOLD"

Losing my mind over how good this is

We are each touching the stove at our own pace

there are always more guys u gotta hear. they're saying something and u haven't heard it yet. life doesn't stop sending me guys

it's not addiction if i like what im doing and can stop whenever bro

guy who thinks you can get addicted to anything but draws the line at porn addiction

ensuring my soup has the most neutral flavor possible by adding a they leaf

is there a way i can give up flesh and organs for a more ethereal form?

sitting my ass down and ignoring reality

Fools gold? Well it’s still fucking gold, isn’t it!?!? And if you want to be the real “Fool” by missing out on all this gold then be my guest, but your children and your children’s children will hate you for all time because of it

8 hours of sucking dick & getting railed on the astral dream plane

thinking about getting a womb tattoo but one that signifies my tummy is ready for more mozzarella sticks and maybe even tomato sauce

mengo cum loud? sorry im not in college i dont do that anymore

peepaw was right white cityfolk yuppies are the spawn of satan

Can't stand skin care culture. wash your face and move on like the rest of us.