🎣

With only 6 years 2 months left on his contract

20/20 thank you for making me feel old

Do they sell pool cleaning equipment?

You can hear that Brummie accent for sure

I sometimes watch the kettle boil if I’m feeling really energetic

My hobby is lying still and moving just enough not to have moss grow on me

Buckers on a Bosman, better than Buckers on a Bosnian

A hammer. Then shout “walkies” like Barbara Woolhouse as you scoff it (one for the kids there)

Whenever I visit my relatives and friends in Manchester they make hilarious kipper tie jokes, I don’t even have much of an accent.

Make the most of it hun, because one day she won’t be there to hug you, I’d give anything for one more hug from my mum

Sunday roast tax in full force

And it’ll be small or a weird shape, the robbing bastards

I was expecting this as the final shot

I was shouting this was I doing it wrong?

Part timer

Yes, gin = adventures, why deprive your child of forgetting what has happened the night before?

Gin is also acceptable

They had a whole squad missing yesterday

WILSON!!!

Everytime they mention him on TV they always bring up his debut, and not how he’s been easily our best defender all season

M&S Sushi, so soon after the posh roast dinner…. He’s going to need a second mortgage at this rate. Narcissistic food is expensive

Exactly. Like you haven’t tried everything you can think of already…. Made worse by them telling you their solution and how fabulous it is “Have you tried reading, oh half a page and I’m asleep” thanks for that