iso an intimate relationship with a shovel to the face
Posts by Norm
The sax solo is right behind me isn't it?
Why is ham the only thing that gets honey glazed around here?
GenX verification: I was 10 when this topped the charts. www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6Pw...
Pop music, especially when it’s categorized as ”Top 40,” is often derided as inferior to so-called “authentic“ music. But go look at any chart-topping list from any year. There are always really good songs, with a few outright masterpieces sprinkled in.
REMEMBER: If you're not alone in your dating app profile pic, be sure to state whether or not you're the fish
that dude has a badge in his wallet that says 'fbi: federal body inspector'
broke: suns out, guns out
bespoke: sky’s out, thighs out
geese are terrible shortstops
not every woman could pull off having this amount of earwax
I don't know what a philharmonic is and at this point I'm afraid to ask
Getting my *cardio in
*rage cleaning with intermittent crying jags
normalize walking into the sea after the slightest inconvenience
road trips can get a little weird
Be the 420 to wish to see in the world or something I don’t care
The seven stages of human evolution but it’s just me getting progressively sicker over the last few hours 😔
Sitting in the front car of the subway after taking an edible is my version of high intensity training
if anyone ever recognizes me from here in the outside world I will hand them a shiv carved from my femur and let them slit my throat
healing my inner torment by incorporating one bandaid a day into my diet
Adaptation is not the same as healing.
For the past ten years, I've woken up the same time every morning at How Am I Gonna Get Through This Fucking Day o’clock.
A sign saying RAISED PEDESTRIAN CROSSING. I am pretending, for attempted comedy reasons. to have read PEDESTRIAN as PROTESTANT. It's a stretch, I know, but the best I can do under the constraints of my deep depression.
I was raised Catholic.
His imperfections were her perfections.
I honestly have nothing intelligent to add today, so buttholes.
gonna fuck around and be my biggest cheerleader but more like the cheerleaders from the nirvana music video
Wanna find heart shaped rocks and throw them at each other..affectionately.
Oh yeah, they all want a strong, independent woman until she always has some shit to say with her smart ass mouth. 💅
That’s gonna leave a question mark.
Love to promise things by EOD. Who can say when the day ends, really?
I don't need a hashtag telling me to boycott anything