Miserable meme guy in bed with caption “I drink all this goddamn water and for what. Just to piss? This planet is a prison”

My dad liked the Yankees in the 90s because everyone loves a winner. When I moved back after college I was tending bar during a June afternoon game, watched the camera op follow a bodega bag floating around right field for a solid five instead of the play, and I thought yeah, this is my team

Think about how much better the world would be if Ross Douthat were just into fucking feet like a normal weird person

This is why we are en route to St Louis

This is the single funniest thing I have ever seen Bluesky staff do.

Cancel Reply Forbidden Jay Bluesky is made with Al, the engineers and even some non-engineers use Claude code Can you ask them to stop?

Asking the forbidden question

[racking shotgun] futurepop's back at the goth club

DOGMOG

unmute, this is 100% right

It will be very funny to see how many Hamptons cottages appraise for 4.85m this time next year

also I think they should change the name to psychopomp.

I GASPED ALOUD

“Shocking” said precisely no one except the phrenologists who spent weeks parsing out whether they should shout out ancient Buda or ancient Pest (the latter being susceptible to the Ottoman menace)

I’m not a ronin contemplating the zen of folk instruments. It’s a jug. I feel confident expressing that there is a ceiling to technical proficiency.

I did a semester of Afro Cuban percussion, the jug will be simple to master

Right, you and I together will not. @simko-bednarski.bsky.social and perhaps @davidwondrich.bsky.social, however…music.apple.com/us/album/woods-live-from...

@simko-bednarski.bsky.social that's not a joke if the SC passes on the case we gonna set up a still in the goddamn woods behind the farm like my Great Uncle Kes used to do

I wish to take up shining in the hills because the 5th circuit legalizes home distillation and it's a pleasant way to spend my retirement making Piedmont Rakia (no anise I swear)

you are it, my love, and I don't wanna have to take up making shine in the hills because I got warrants

Live from the KY GOP senate primary

It's complicated for me because I want the Mets to win but I set up a bot that places a $15 prop bet on every Mets hitter grounding out to second base and have already made $625,000 this year.

I have not seen the show so I make up my own storylines and in my view it’s a much more exciting show because they’re all bisexuals on the moon

The Internet was a beautiful thing for a while. It is now exclusively for people who are mentally ill. One might think that would make it a niche product, but it remains mainstream by making more and more people mentally ill.

everyone at the kowloon walled city show has different minor league baseball team hats on

If you have to ask “for what”

“Somethingawful.com : we probably should say sorry, huh”

On what I presume is his lunch break, Eric Adams has malapropted his way thru the shahada and is looking down on the the faithful from the first class cabin of a Turkish Air flight to the Seychelles

Will no one impress poor Jody Foster?

>catastrophically lose an expeditionary war of choice against Persia
>threaten the Pope himself with personal violence
>heavy handed promulgation of state religion for social cohesion
>misguided attempts to shrink the central bureaucracy

Fuck it welcome back Roman Emperor Julian the Apostate