Not in this economy! 🤣

moist

A middle aged woman with ridiculous hair smirking in the shower

Proof of life

An image that says: Miss your freak, js

Aww ❤️

Sorry I've been so quiet- this is a weird and stressful time of year for me and my social battery has been getting used more on irl interactions, so if you follow my main account you might've noticed that I'm a bit quieter there, too. I'm sure I'll be back to my usual self before too long 😘

Hot singles in your urethra

Thanks! I just started the PT sessions, but I'm optimistic 😊

An image that says: No you don't smell bad Phew was my sigh of relief that you still had your body

Yeah, it turns out that it's a lot harder to get rid of your own than it is to get rid of someone else's. So that's inconvenient

An image that says: phew

What? Do I smell bad?

An image that says: lovely to see you back on here again

I wasn't sure if anyone even noticed I hadn't posted on here in a couple weeks, tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Probably the same one where I was born, you're not special 🙄🤣

I'm pretty sure all of us from that area were born there because there wasn't anywhere else yet- it was still the middle of nowhere

Same. Not only that, but the place that built it has been completely wiped off the face of the earth. I can still contact one of the parts manufacturers, but all he said is that I was built with one screw

An image that says: missed seeing your beautiful body

Don't worry, I still have it! 😆

I'm no good at housework, Ducky- I can't even make a bed 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Not bad, just busy and distracted. How are you?

A middle aged woman who is clearly very bad at making the bed

Sorry I haven't posted, I got tangled up in my sheets

An image that says: I thought you were gorgeous from just your main feed avatar, but holy moly!! On a scale of 1 to 10, you're like 100! Goodness gracious!!

If you all keep being so nice to me, I might get an ego about it 😅🥰😂

My five year plan? Probably just to say, “I’m really not feeling it today,” 1,825 times.

i wish somebody would attack me with a cold cut

Always looking out for me 🥰

Getting all squeaky clean before I climb between my cozy, freshly-washed flannel sheets

Taking a hot, relaxing shower to wind down for the evening. Who can help scrub my back?

a man wearing a hat and a leather jacket is holding a knife in his hand . Alt: Indiana Jones carefully calculating the weight of the idol he's about to steal

Actual footage of me deciding which pics to post

a man in a suit is shaking hands with another man in a suit in a room . Alt: a man in a suit is shaking hands with another man in a suit in a room .

🤔

I'm glad, because it's not changing anytime soon 🥰😂

Above all else, I'm a huge fuckin' dork 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Happy to be of service!

Me as Saint Blankethead the Lazy, patron saint of playing video games in bed all day

I try 🤷🏻‍♀️

(I even have a pic somewhat fitting for that 😂)

I'm happy to help! 😘

I felt like I was being summoned, and sure enough your post was the first one I saw 🤷🏻‍♀️😂