accidentally shit diagonally

found an enemy

didn’t ask + don’t care + CURSE OF RA 𓀀𓀁𓀂𓀃𓀄𓀅𓀆𓀇𓀈𓀉𓀊𓀋𓀌𓀍𓀎𓀏 𓀆𓀇
𓀈𓀉𓀊𓀋𓀌𓀍𓀎𓀏𓀐𓀑𓀒𓀓𓀔𓀕𓀖𓀗

@horsedentist.bsky.social heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

just ate a pound of meat and cheese in bed

they want me to take mood stabilizers and produce spreadsheets but i want to take psychedelics and produce incomprehensible garbage

if i have a heart attack its cause i simply loved ground beef, cheese, and oil too hard

there is an absolutely carnal level of enjoyment to be gained from laying in the dark naked and eating a bowl of nothing but taco meat with cheese

yeah i couldnt do it anymore, ive been gone since nov and its been nice. plus theyre using everyones posts to train their dogshit ai

left shitter huh

X the everything Nazi App

making her squishmallows go quadriplegic mode

My nipples are way too big

Mic check is this thing on

Every single thing that everybody suddenly wants to do in Greenland - mine for minerals! use shipping lanes! set up bases! - can be done right now, while Greenland is part of Denmark. The discussion of "occupying" Greenland is just a pointless piece of aggression towards an ally.

check out vagus nerve piercings. i went from daily migraines to zero as of the day i got them four months ago, it was absolutely life changing

I mistakenly grabbed a handful of edible gummies that I assumed were multivitamins and I believe i have about 10 minutes before I lose my mind 😟

i wish they let you drink beer in bed

Tweet from furby Hancock: Waiter: so how is everything? Me: great! Waiter: (disgusted) even war?

being on bluesky

Trying to manifest my destiny into a Sonic for some fucking blue raspberry slushie and 75 cheesy tater tots

a cartoon of a lion with its mouth open and the words let 's gooooo written below it ALT: a cartoon of a lion with its mouth open and the words let 's gooooo written below it

TRUDEAU IS RESIGNING

cant wait to see him go

Trudeau’s resignation marks the first time in 66 years that Fidel Castro’s family holds no top leadership positions

Babes, come over. We are taking DXM and knocking all our teeth out with a screw driver

My behemoth of a wife likes to watch me crank my meat. We call this special time together, wide-load pallet jack

if they dont, they cant have dinner

new yearly holiday: you shit in the litter box and the cats have to get it out.

if i drop dead anytime soon its cause i bought a $20 dildo on temu

Why would I pay $5K for an Ayahuasca Retreat when I can just use Goo Gone in a poorly ventilated area

was very busy today. chewed all my fingernails off bit by bit and put them in a pile on my coffee table. adderall might be working too well