COME ON

(Gets you pregnant as a friend)

a cartoon character with hearts in his eyes is holding a hand out . ALT: a cartoon character with hearts in his eyes is holding a hand out .

Have you considered looking into the cost of green jumpsuits and studying Konohagakure No Taijutsu?

Post a pic of yourself, wrong answers only

Can you chill??

Ribbed for your pleasure

*plop*

Why does my whole torso have bearface

Grab life by the horn this #fcf

Wtf do you mean it's 80 the grease

POV i gotcha by the tiddy

Nah i mean really get in there

Suck the stank off my junk

Public nuisance

The worst gym workout by a mile and i have no idea why it sucks so much 😭

Pov you are my chihuahua

Callum Scott is straight???

Unspeakably funny that tpc is making it canon that pokemon dont poop

This one's for the good boys only if you're a bad boy go look at the corner

Actually it might be time to give up lmao

Me: *works 7hrs standing, walks two miles to my buddys house, fucks him for an hour, walks another mile and a half home*

Me: why am i tired why do my feet hurt

Was there a protest today? I saw a lot of cars/ press showing up when i left work. Should i be there?

Im sorry but if you think douching is optional pls do not speak to me

But kept the bush

Trimmed the hedges

Wolverine to colossus every time the x phone rings or whatever

Has anyone else had the experience of confirming several years after the fact that you were in fact dating and did in fact breakup but neither of you was 100% sure until you finally talked again

Nobody tells you that the worst part of being in your 30s is developing ear/nose hairs that will constantly harras you from inside hour own body

Gotta keep it loose for your fists to do their job