nah, I know who my people are, thanks

that fupa got some weight to it

if that’s your man then why’s he gassing me up at the trough urinal?

a cannabis themed parody of fred flinstone called seymour greenstoned and he’s really into concentrates and his catchphrase is “ANY DAB WILL DO!”

Instead of saying I have to poop, I say I’m starting a movement.

so how about no president and we all just pinky promise to be cool

me: the Dyson hand dryer didn’t dry my hands. moving my hands back and forth for 5 minutes trying to get the Dyson hand dryer to dry my hands dried my hands

my gynecologist: what

"In fact" implies the existence of "in fiction"

lmao

oh heck ya i got you homie!

logically that makes sense; double envelope should solve the problem

LOL done

(Lamaze breathing)

💀💀💀

heads up in the clouds

so true richard

😛😛😛

i do not understand people who can take pills without water what are you a bunch of extra drooly bitches and if so i have some stuff you can drool on if you want

i can absolutely do that 💯🙌🏼🫶🏼

thank you!!!

i got you homie

im a leftie but i shoot pool right-handed i contain multitudes, what’s your fuckin’ problem

You know what, I hope both sides of your pillow are always cold

if you don't feel funny, go watch a bug for a little while and think about how you act

I hope I die doing what I love but with my luck I'll probably die doing your mom...

buying high performance condoms at the grocery store could fix me

If size doesn’t matter why is small talk so insufferable?

Hang on, just let me eat these gummy bears that are the same as eating a salad.

Oh nothing. Just hanging out with my books.

At the punk show clapping politely and hoping no one spills my $10 beer