ngl I’m actually supporting England actively for the next 18 months cos after all the shit the Karens and Kevins have been chatting about Tuchel I really want them to realise their opinions are actual bin juice

Stephen Bunting is a perfect example of what makes the UK tick

Only in this country could you have a man that looks like the final boss of divorced dads in a short sleeve shirt, dancing to a Sia tune on national telly and getting Alexandra Palace absolutely bouncing

Generational

Gotta respect Marcus Bettinelli being in the Chelsea squad for this game; man saw Scott Carson being City’s “vibes” appendix and saw an opportunity to rot on the bench soaking up a cushy salary and jumped at it

lad’s having a sumptuous time of it and I love that for him

for all of the wanking Opta does over him, Andreas Pereira’s greatest stat will always be the percentage of my patience he tests #FFC

Honestly, the more I watch Andre this season, the more glad I am we didn’t sign him.

I’m sure Marco could work something out of him like Sasa given time, but he looks utterly lost in this Wolves side… oof

We’ve hit and passed Muniz time. Raul’s got his goal and needs to be fucked off now

Fulham did this tweet almost verbatim (with names switched obv) when they had priced a load of fans out of going to the Brentford home game a few weeks ago…

it’s becoming standard practice, simply disgusting

Never would have thought I would say this at FT… but at least we’re not City #FFC

I’m really not sure why I included the latter to be perfectly honest

After seeing this warmup, Pereira is either dropping a generational stinker today or a worldie performance, because he used up every single piece of wastefulness in him ahead of the game #FFC

I swear I forget every 2-3 weeks that we still employ Vinicius. The one-man neuralyser.

Dude is deja vu made human

They’re trying to erase our Jozabed

Introduce yourself with four footballers

In the wake of GOTY noms, I’m genuinely wary of playing Balatro; it seems like the type of life-swallower that I really can’t afford to be messing with

It’s really a sign of the international break that I got bored enough to open this app again

Time to watch Jay Stansfield murder QPR

Yet another social bomb shelter… just want the rat boy to turnip Twitter now so I can get macheteing my way through the swathe of bullshit apps once the victor’s been decided