I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

@amyremeikis.bsky.social Oops I think I just missed saying hi after buying your book from Harry Hartog in Woden. You seemed to be having a good time reading to your kiddo! Thanks for writing a cool book and have a lovely weekend.

"yoko taro scripted evangelion" is actually an experiment by the illuminati to try and invent a free energy perpetual motion device powered only by online discourse

Tenet by a country mile. Fuck Nolan and fuck whoever he hired to mix audio.

Random guy came up to us in the lobby afterwards and asked if we understood it, because he didn’t either.

Vale to an amazing man and legendary, brilliant cartoonist.

The cartooning community is in mourning today.

Official Kamen Rider Sukajan jackets!!! They look great...

wait

wait no don't translate Den-O's catchphrase like that!!!! NOOOO WAIT DON'T TRANSLATE "ORE SANJOU" LIKE THAT!!! NOOOOO

Great question!

It’s not just about whether or not the gyre is widening – its that the falcon cannot hear the Falconer. In today’s blood-dimmed world, it’s a game-changer that many don’t consider.

The kicker? A beast that is rough, slouching, and born.

Not a local so defer to you on that but isn't part of the logic around HSR that you can build new (higher density) communities around the proposed stations? That sounds easier to achieve if you route through lower density areas.

emotion wheel starting with "joy, fear, anger" in the center and then lapsing into gibberish

a friend of mine shared this ai-generated "emotion wheel" and unfortunately i have been laughing my ass off at it for like 15 minutes now. today i am feeling Fnliinneon

Seriously, Fiona?

To hide their numbers.

I love literature.

Genshin Impact Game Developer Will be Banned from Selling Lootboxes to Teens Under 16 without Parental Consent, Pay a $20 Million Fine to Settle FTC Charges The maker of the video game Genshin Impact has agreed to pay $20 million and to block children under 16 from making in-game purchases without parental consent to settle Federal Trade Commission all

holy fucking shit. never thought I’d see this come from the US first

I have eaten 10 prawns and a turducken and asparagus and potato salad and two beers and everything is just lovely

Going to throw my son in the ocean later

new round of digital epidemiology studies just dropped

You are in for a hell of a show. Jack Quaid is perfectly cast.

Big deal, I release gas at temperatures way lower than 49C

Have seen some dunks on this around individuals using verification as a status symbol and it’s a fair point, but verification is also a way to make it feel safer for important accounts like news orgs and emergency services to make the jump over here. Important accounts for a healthy ecosystem.

Two weeks later I have devoured five books in this series and gone from ‘enjoying it for what it is’ to genuinely loving the fifth book’s intelligent handling of trauma and healing. Apparently there Re 10 more books in a connected universe, there goes the rest of the year.

Just went to tap on a bus for the first time and it doesn’t look like the new machines support the Express Transit Card option in iOS? Worked flawlessly on a Brisbane ferry last week…

show me your pet and what they were named after

Just got home from a holiday in Brisbane where it rained for three days straight and it is sunny and at least 10 degrees warmer in Canberra, the nation’s beachfront.

Ed Balls

Especially true in Australia, where the media market is so small.

Tram you bought from the middle aisle at Aldi looking shit

Feels like it’s been an entire week of almost but not quite. So glad it’s happening, and gladder the thunder didn’t interrupt my son’s nap!

In my opinion "Twitter" is whichever place most embodies the poster's spirit, and that's here now