unc is short for the university of north carolina btw

brb going to write my own version of wicked that revolves around the witch's hydrophobia being a result of rabies from the monkeys

me and my bestie when we hit people with our microplastic stare.

born slippy (nuxx)

slippery roads today

i knew one day i'd have to watch powerful men burn the world down —
i just didn't expect them to be doing jar jar binks impressions while doing it.

what's fka twigs's new name?

i finally got an invite to join the blues guy

i was afraid growing up that i would need to know an absurd amount of brady bunch trivia for some reason. unfortunately, the future was much stranger.

probably the only person who thought this, but whenever lady gaga says "spin that record babe" in "just dance", i used to think she was saying "poker face" in a way like trying to remember the names of her other hit songs.

nosferatatouille situation going on here.

when the sun hits your eyes
and you are vaporized
nosferatu!

patrick bateman: "eyes wide shut" is the most moving movie of the 1990s about monogamy and commitment.

tom cruise doing doctor house calls in eyes wide shut counts as mummering.

christmas carol is a labour horror story, and not for the reasons you think. it implies ghosts have jobs.

eyes wide shut aka tom cruise's blue (balls) christmas.

the grinch is reformed but ends up wrapping gifts with his tapeworm instead of string because of his years of dieting on garbage and literal feces.

yesferatu.

charlie brown christmas is about the evils of privatized medicare.

i don't care about rosebud. i want to know why charles foster kane thought this double chin campaign poster photo was a good idea when he ran for governor.

the ending where the peanuts kids gather around the tree and sing might be considered a "happening" indedted to antonin artaud's "theatre of cruelty".

charlie brown should have had an ed wood-esque meeting with orson welles for directorial advice. that jesus pep talk from linus did jack shit for the christmas play.

yes, but an extremely goofy movie is too goofy of a movie (ie. transformers the movie of movies).

les amants de pont-neuf is a christmas movie.

hitchcock movie about whatever coffee does to your gi tract in the morning.

it's heartwarming how many orson welles movies take place around christmas. this is especially fitting given his stature, big beard, and affinity for magic tricks.

what happens when gremlins eat while crossing timezones? why don't they react to foods containing water?

uncrustables are a failed psy-op. people regularly mention them on every podcast i listen to, and i have never heard a single mention of these things irl.

how can you expect some dude with a mansion to give a shit about class consciousness?

if you want to distract your parents this holiday season from asking you about your questionable life decisions, make some shit up about the generation younger than you trying to cancel "who's on first".