palfinger. he’s the pal. the pal with the midas touch. vaginas touch.

you’ve heard of friends with benefits

now get ready for

who up replacing they churchill with an otter

‘m you won’t believe what q has been saying about you’

‘bond are you shit stirring again’

‘no i’m shit shaking’

‘you’re what?’

‘………….. im shit shaking’

oooooh who

i said ‘no thanks’ once cos i was going for a meal later and i think she took that as ‘no thanks forever’

being given away on a freecycle page tho he must be a proper arsehole

COLLECT BEFORE THE NEXT BLOOD MOON i mean asap

‘my daughter got him for christmas and now sa… tan resides within our home and we need to shift the curse.’

i even sit at the table but just have… no food in front of me hahaha

when i visit my mum for tea she feeds my kids what they want and makes herself and my stepdad something separate and im not involved at all for some unknown reason

holy shit

this is fun

a sad man’s garden of a plant. give over.

‘oooh they’re full of vitamin k’ i am full of nescafe gold blend and baccy what’s your point son

dandelion facts

third degree burns aye. way too hot. and my face goes red over nowt so that’ll be me for the next 2-3 days

just a small insight in to my wild and crazy life

i filled it to the brim and it took like 61 hours and it’s gonna cost me about a grand and i got bored 30 seconds in.

tell you what it’s been 10 years since ive been able to have a bath uninterrupted, but now i can. so i says to myself i says lucy, you’ve a nice big bath there let’s av it.

might have gongeous (;

(i have)

three steaks pam get yourself a hash brown butty with some worcestershire sauce on em

and me and my lad have been playing with pedals and amps since we got in i absolutely fuckin love being alive or should i say ‘stayin alive’ haha think i will haha my goodness me

well you can tell by the way i use my walk
it’s hash browns for tea
no time to talk 🎶

hash brown butty for tea no offence

well well well

no im a shoplifter

everything about this machine is cocky as fuck