To all my former coworkers, and the coworkers who could have been - thank you for everything. I lived a richer and full life because of you.

Love to you all,

Kyle

I got to express myself in ways I never thought possible. I’m happy to have learned this hidden language called animation, so I could speak it to so many people. 4/

Unable to pay for rent, I restarted once, and barely got through the second time.

But my persistence paid off. I got a job straight out of college, and from that point on I never had to worry about getting work. The people I worked with wanted me around, and that helped. 3/

Animation was a pie in the sky dream that I thought I could never fulfil. It seemed impossible to obtain, and one day I just decided to try. I threw everything I had at it. I failed multiple times in securing employment while schooling. 2/

I’ve asked for this to be posted after my death.

I accepted government assistance in dying.

I’m proud to have been part of the animation industry during my short career, and meeting lots of fun, interesting people.

1/

unfortunately, my cancer treatment is no longer effective. the nodules have grown and the cancer has infected my liver

with my primary treatment gone all i have left is clinical trials. ill find out more about them tomorrow

wish me luck

i bought a hard cover journal today, something i could leave for my spouse. it's... it's fucking surreal lol the enormity of everything is really hitting today with the news that surgery isnt viable for me and i have to ride this out

im so thankful that before the end i got to pursue animation, even just for the 10-ish years i was able to do it professionally

im thankful for my loving spouse, who is going through hell right now

im thankful for your support, which i really need right now

he did say he was surprised at how well im doing at this point in my treatment. when pressed, he said there are edge cases where someone in my position lasts more than a few years

"ill try to be an edge case then", i said

"yes, exactly," he replied

unfortunately, it looks like surgery is not in my immediate future

the surgeon really impressed upon me the severity of my diagnosis, that im already doing much better than others in the same position. surgery could take that all away

better to stay the course

im so nervous about next week

im gonna find out of i get okay'd for the surgery that will probably prolong my life by no small amount or be told that the complications are too great for it to be safe

whatever happens, we're gonna fight on. but my nerves!

oh no! we must console wall street!

obviously not the best possible outcome we were hoping for (continued shrinking) but this is still very good news. let's hope the surgeon has the confidence to get in there and rip the evil out!

the scar tissue thing is a positive in that if that's what it is that means the mass is smaller than it appears since parts of it are either dead or dying from the treatment. it shows up as *something* on the scan but it's not super clear what it is exactly

we got the ct scan results today

my cancer seems to have stabilized, and sections of it could be scar tissue. it's small enough now that it's difficult to see everything clearly. good problem to have, at least!

im being referred to the surgeon so he can make his assessment

so this friday ill be getting a new ct scan that will determine my immediate future

best case scenario: my cancer has continued to shrink as much as last time and a surgeon will find surgery viable to remove it and treat the nodules. then id almost certainly be in remission!

that's the worst

while obviously this is not exclusively a woman's problem, i just also just want to point out that this generation specifically has more women working in animation than EVER before and yet the career opportunities and upward mobility available to us is nonexistent.

we got bad news for so long so this feels incredible

great news!

got a call from my oncologist who told me 1) my cancer mass has shrunk about 25% and 2) the cancerous nodules in my stomach lining have shrunk as well, some are so small she can barely see them

if this keeps up i may be able to have the mass removed by year's end!

saw the family doctor today. not much to report other than she's very happy with how everything is going

i might need some physio for my knees because i am both tall (6'3") and old (42), though lol

good news: my oncologist says that my cancer nodules are either not growing or actively shrinking. the new treatment is effective!

my hair actually grew back enough that i needed a little trim, new treatment sure is neat

trust your good friends' judgment. you're better than you allow yourself to believe

being unable to break from societal expectations to the point that youre accusing the people helping you dispel it of deceit is just kinda sad really

good news and bad news

bad news: as a result of my not-doing-anything-all-day lifestyle i have formed a kidney stone. boo!

good news: to diagnose it they needed a CT scan so i asked them to send the results to my oncologist, who just told me my cancer has improved! hooray!

nausea has finally decided to back the hell off now we're gamin

man my new chemo treatment seemed to be the jackpot on not feeling any side effects but for the past day or so ive been suffering from some awful nausea, enough to call in and ask about it. we might have to make some adjustments

cumulative side effects suck ass man

yeah cant avoid that one ive tried

ah shit what now